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《INDUSTRIOUS AMAZEMENT A NOTEBOOK》.pdf
ANNA KAMIENSKA
Industrious Amazement: A Notebook
I exchange my life for words .
Weak, uncertain currency.
* * *
Saint Augustine calls the kingdom of the saved Jerusalem, and the
kingdom of the damned Babylon. Maybe thats what Norwid has
in mind when he says I write from Babylon to Jerusalem — and the
letters get through.
As a spring makes its way to the light, to air. Its toil, its drudgery, its
dark transit, like despair.
Thats how the poet works for words . Through muscles, move-
ments. Thats how J.* wrote poems . He paced, he muttered, he
waved his arms as though gathering and grasping words .
I wasnt looking for God at all.
I sought my Dead One .
Ill never cease repeating this, amazed.
* * *
Another eschatological dream. I never dream of J . dead. But here
I am at the cemetery and his grave opens . I see him whole, lying un-
touched by decay. But his body is completely covered with fishes.
I see their dead white bellies. Only his head is bare. He opens his eyes.
Kamienskas husband, poet Jan Spiewak, who died of cancer on December 22,1967 .
ANNA KAMIENSKA 5O3
Theyre clear, hlue . I run hack and forth, calling his name until Im
hoarse. He doesnt notice me, he doesnt hear, as if hes absorbed in
something else. Finally someone comes up to him . And suddenly his
head changes into the head of another hearded man, who smiles and
extends his hands — to a doctor, a surgeon, an apothecary?
Still in the dream. Im coming hack with PaweL I say, its as if he
wanted to show that different people are made of the same material.
Yes, he answers, that dumh Kaniewsk
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