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三打白骨精 Three Times’ Beating Monster
人物:T唐僧S:孙悟空 E:猪八戒 J:沙僧
B:白骨精B1:B变成的村姑 B2:B变成的太婆B3:B变化成老头
T:阿弥陀佛,do you know where we are now?
S:,map!
E: (摸出,递给S)
S: Look,boss (凑近T)………(T、S一齐转向E)
T: !How Many times I have told you, don’t bring these pictures of beautiful girls!
E: Oh, boss!Forgive me(伸手拿回)
T: (缩手)I’ll keep it for you until we reach the west
E: But……
T: 阿弥陀佛,nothing is lust,lust is nothing! Map?(色即是空,空即是色)
E: (递)Here.Em…we have arrived in White Tiger Mountain!Ah I can’t walk on any more!(坐)My stomach doesn’t allow So.
S: Fat Pig!
E: Monkey,if you dare to say these two words once again,I will ,I will…S: You will what(凶相)?
E: (软禁)I will help you catch fleas(跳蚤).
S: Hm!T:(轻咳),factually,I am a bit hungry .Could you go to get me some food?
E: You see , boss is hungry,too!
T: 八戒!Don’t forget who ate my last meal!
J: But boss,if a monster comes while brother monkey is away…..
T: Em…….It is a problem.悟空,do you have any idea?
S: No problem!(安装)(B已躲在一旁偷看)
J: This is…..?
S: Electric net!I have learnt the energy of electricity from boss’s books. So I made this. No monster can approach you if you stay in it!
T: Em…, you are becoming more and more scientific! 阿弥陀佛, knowledge is power!
S: Bye!(走)
T: Let’s play cards!(三人开始打牌)音乐《斗地主》
B: Hm!Hm!Electric net?You are too childish.(变成B1)
B1: (接近三人,望着)Can I join you?
J: I’m sorry,lady. We are playing Fighting Against landowner and three people are enough.
B1: (在一旁观看)Oh,Chance! Bomb!
T: Bomb?(打出)
B1: Double King!
T: Oh….I win! Em……,Lady,you are a boss-hand. Come in and teach me!(准备开电网门)
S: (回来,看见B1)Oh,monster!(上前就打)
B1: (倒)Ah……
E:How beautiful a girlJ:You can’t,you can’t ,whatever he did,he is our big brother;don’t be sad ,there are more beautiful girls waiting for you on our way to the west
T: (气愤)! Look what have you done! She is my teacher!
S: She is a monster!
T: Nonsense!(深呼吸)
S: Oh,please don’t……
T:It’s too late!(唱)Once more……you open the door…(泰坦尼克主题曲,走音离谱)
S: Please,Please,oh,no……(痛苦抱头)
T: (呛住,咳),I’m disappointed with you!
B: (真身
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