[Unit-4.docVIP

Unit 4 Text A The First Four Minutes 1 When do people decide whether or not they want to become friends? During their first four minutes together, according to a book by Dr. Leonard Zunin. In his book, Contact: The First Four Minutes, he offers this advice to anyone interested in starting new friendships: Every time you meet someone in a social situation, give him your undivided attention for four minutes. A lot of peoples whole lives would change if they did just that. 2 You may have noticed that the average person does not give his undivided attention to someone he has just met. He keeps looking over the other persons shoulder, as if hoping to find someone more interesting in another part of the room. If anyone has ever done this to you, you probably did not like him very much. 3 When we are introduced to new people, the author suggests, we should try to appear friendly and self-confident. In general, he says, People like people who like themselves. 4 On the other hand, we should not make the other person think we are too sure of ourselves. It is important to appear interested and sympathetic, realizing that the other person has his own needs, fears, and hopes. 5 Hearing such advise, one might say, But Im not a friendly, self-confident person. Thats not my nature. It would be dishonest for me to act that way. 6 In reply, Dr. Zunin would claim that a little practice can help us feel comfortable about changing our social habits. We can become accustomed to any changes we choose to make in our personality. Its like getting used to a new car, it may be unfamiliar at first, but it goes much better than the old one. 7 But isnt it dishonest to give the appearance of friendly self-confidence when we dont actually feel that way? Perhaps, but according to Dr. Zunin, total honesty is not always good for social relationships, especially during the first few minutes of contact. There is a time for everything, and a certain amount of play-acting may be best for t