环保课堂作文.docVIP

环保课堂作文 高一英语作文课堂指导练习—环境保护 操红 动物是人类的朋友。人与动物和平相处，世界会变得更加美好。近年来，保护动物的呼声日益高涨，各国各地分别开辟和划分大片土地作为动物园。野生动物们有了属于自己的家园，它们的数量和种类都相应增加，为了便于人类观赏海洋动物，了解海底世界，海洋馆也应运而生。请就此写一篇短文，描写你参观海洋馆的情况以及个人对此的感受。 要求：1.不能逐字翻译。2.条理清楚，语句通顺。3.词数：120左右。 教师分析：此篇与环境动物保护相关作文题，摘选自高一英语学生辅导用书《高中创新课堂—课时达标与单元评估》。实际上，这篇类似游记的作文题目是从九年级的A doctor for animals 这一课的作文训练演变来的，它的训练目标是按照时间的先后顺序记叙各个场馆的见闻，尽力表达人与动物和平共处的和谐之美，使读者有身临其境之感，引起共鸣。而演变成的高一作文，它的训练目的是用120左右的词描写参观海洋馆的同时，重点突出人类为了保护野生动物而采取保护动物家园以及建立栖息地的举措，这就需要语言简练、条理清楚、重点突出，把文章的中心思想上升为提倡爱护环境，保护动物，与大自然和谐相处。 学生写作分析：1.大部分的学生知道不能逐字翻译，但没能把握语篇结构，半篇文章甚至以上都在描写海洋馆里的见闻。2. “各国各地分别开辟和划分大片土地作为动物园”这句中“开辟”不会写，所以 漏写此内容，没有动脑筋选用其它的词汇或句式来表达同一个意思。 3.语言还是习惯性用初中学到的常见的句式，I saw a lot of animals, such as sharks, dolphins, sea stars and so on. I like them very much, because they are very beautiful. I felt very happy. 而且，总是有很多小错误。下面举一篇学生作文为例。 高一(1)丁璐璐： Yesterday I went to the aquarium. There were very beautiful animals. I didnt see them before and I was very surprised to see many kinds of marine animals. I felt very happy. feel that they like life. Suddenly I saw a very big shark. They are dangerous and I was afraid of them. But I also think they are people?s friends. Of course, all animals are our friends. Some are In my opinion, all animals are our friends. So we should try our best to save them and gave them love. Get on well with animals. 还有些学生想用长句子表达，但没能正确运用，出现种种错误。而且这些细节描写的句子在120词的文章中占用的篇幅过多。例如： 1. When I came to aquarium, I were surprised. I looked a lot of fishes that I didn’t know. I feel I came to underwater world, open my eyes and made me pleased. When I was in the aquarium, I felt surprised to see many kinds of sea animals that I hadn?t known before, / I felt surprised to see many unknown sea animals, which opened my eyes and made me pleased. 2. Some animals are fierce, they hurt people. But most animals live in their own rooms, never hurt people, people kill them without any sadness. Although some animals are fierce, they won?t attack humans unless they feel they are b