Jokes and Humor.docVIP

Jokes and Humor 　　Another Dirty Hand 　　When Webster was young， he didn’t obey the rules at school. One day the teacher saw him breaking a rule and asked him to come forward to be punished. In that school， if a student breaks the rule， the teacher will beat the open hand with a ruler. Webster’s hands were very dirty that day. On the way to the teacher’s desk he hid his hands behind his back. 　　“Give me your hand，” the teacher said. 　　Out went the right hand. 　　“Webster， if you can find another hand in this classroom as dirty as that， I will let you go，” his teacher said. 　　From behind Webster’s back came the left hand. “Here is another， sir，” he said. 　　“That will to，” said the teacher， laughing. “You may go now.” 　　另一只脏手 　　韦伯斯特小时候，不遵守纪律，有一天老师看见他违反了规定，就叫他到前面来受罚，在那所学校里，如果有学生违反了规定，老师就用戒尺打他们的手掌。那一天韦伯斯特的手非常脏，在去老师讲台的路上，他把自己脏兮兮的手放在了背后。 　　“把手伸出来。”老师说。 　　他拿出了右手。 　　“韦伯斯特，如果你能在这个班里找出另一只手像你的一样脏，我就让你走。”老师说。 　　韦伯斯特从背后伸出了他的左手，“这是另一只，先生。”他说。 　　“就这样吧，”老师笑着说，“你可以走了。” 　　Lucky Mother 　　A young mother believed that it was very wrong to waste any food when there were so many hungry people in the world. One evening， she was giving her small daughter her tea before putting her to bed. First she gave her a slice of fresh brown bread and butter， but the child said that she did not want it like that. She asked for some jam on her bread as well. 　　Her mother looked at her for a few seconds and then said， “When I was a small girl like you， Lucy， I was always given either bread and butter， or bread and jam， but never bread with butter and jam.” 　　Lucy looked at her mother for a few moments with pity in her eyes and then said to her kindly， “Aren’t you pleased that you’ve come to live with us now？” 　　幸运的母亲 　　一位年轻的母亲认为，世界上还有许多受饥饿的人，浪费食物真不应该。有天晚上，在安排幼小的女儿睡觉之前，她给女儿喂夜宵。她先给她一片新鲜的黑面包和黄油，但孩子说她不喜欢这样吃。她还要一 　　些果酱涂在面包上。 　　母亲看了女儿几秒钟，随即说道，“露茜，当我象你一样小的时候，总是吃面包加黄油，或者面包加果酱，从来没有面包既加黄油又加果酱。” 　　露茜看了母亲一会儿，眼中露出怜悯的神情，然后她柔声说：“您现在能跟我们生活在一起，难道不感到高兴吗？” 　　Churchill and Bernard Shaw 　　Churchil