两个笨贼等６则.docVIP

PAGE  PAGE 4 两个笨贼等６则 　　两个笨贼 　　 　　两个盗贼在一家旅馆偷东西。第一个说：“我听到警报响了，快跳吧！” 　　第二个说：“但是我们现在在第13层啊！”第一个尖叫着回敬他：“都什么时候了，还这么迷信！” 　　Very Stupid Robbers 　　Two robbers were robbing a hotel. The first robber said, I hear sirens. Jump! 　　The second one said, But were on the 13th floor! 　　The first one screamed back, This is no time to be superstitious! 　　 　　对不起，本店不找零钱 　　 　　我和一个朋友在快餐店排队订餐，那里很醒目地写着，不接受超过20美元的大钞（请自备零钱）。 　　我们前边的一个女士指着这个牌子对我们说：“上帝保佑，如果我身上有超过20美元的话，我一定不会在这儿吃饭！” 　　Sorry, No Change in This Store 　　A friend and I were standing in line at a fast-food restaurant, waiting to place our order. There was a big sign posted. No bills larger than $20 will be accepted. 　　The woman in front of us, pointing to the sign, remarked, Believe me, if I had a bill larger than $20, I wouldnt be eating here. 　　 　　 　　区 别 　　 　　“研究生班和本科生班很容易就能区别开来，”在洛杉矶加利福尼亚州立大学给我们研究生上工程学课的老师如此说。“我说‘下午好’，本科生们回答说‘下午好’。研究生们则把我说的话记在笔记本上。” 　　Difference 　　I can always tell a graduate class from an undergraduate class, observed the instructor in one of my graduate engineering courses at California State University in Los Angeles. When I say, Good afternoon, the undergraduates respond, Good afternoon. But the graduate students just write it down. 　　 　　死后重生 　　 　　“你相信人死后仍有生命吗？”老板问他的一个员工。 　　“是的，先生。”这个新员工回答说。 　　“哦，那么，这样说来一切就很正常了，”老板继续说，“在你今早离开去参加你奶奶的葬礼时，她来看你了。” 　　Life After Death 　　Do you believe in life after death? the boss asked one of his employees. 　　Yes, Sir. the new recruit replied. 　　Well, then, that makes everything just fine, the boss went on. After you left early yesterday to go to your grandmothers funeral, she stopped in to see you. 　　 　　那就更糟了 　　 　　警察:有人抢你的手表时，你为什么不呼救呢？ 　　男子:要是我张口的话，他们就会发现我的四颗金牙。那就更糟了！ 　　Much Worse 　　Policeman: Why didnt you shout for help when you were robbed of your watch? 　　Man: If I had opened my mouth, theyd have found my four gold teeth. That would be much worse. 　　 　　 　　送给女友的礼物 　　 　　在一家珠宝店里，一位年轻人买了一个贵重的小金盒作为送给女友的礼物。“要我把她的名字刻在上面吗?”珠宝商问道。