FML(fuckmylife)精选翻译1.docVIP

Today, I learned I was adopted and that my parents had died in a car accident when I was really young. My girlfriend was sitting next to me when I got the news, and several hours later broke up with me in a text stating, I dont want to be with someone who doesnt have real parents. FML 今天，当我知道我是被收养的，我的父母在我很小的时候就在一场车祸中挂掉。当我知道这条消息的时候，我的女朋友就坐在我旁边。过了几个小时后，用一张写着“我不想跟一个没有亲生父母的人在一起”的纸条跟我分手了。 Today, I discovered my neighbors have bought a karaoke machine. FML 今天，我发现我的邻居买了一套卡拉OK。 Today, its my two year anniversary with my wife. Shes celebrating the day with her new boyfriend. FML 今天是我的跟妻子的两周年结婚纪念日。她现在却正跟她的男朋友在庆祝这天。 Today, in preparation for a presentativon at work, I decided to take a handful of vitamins to fight my cold. As I was putting the bottles away, I noticed one of them was a laxative. FML 今天，在准备一场展览会的时候，我决定用一把维他命来搞定我的感冒。当我把瓶子放回去的时候，我才发现这是泻药。 Today, a little girl came up to me and asked, Are you a boy or a girl? I said, Im a girl of course! She walked away, looking dazed and saying, Whoa. FML 今天，一个小萝莉跳出来并问我，“你是男的还是女的？”我说，“我当然是女的！”她真身走开，看起来很迷茫的样子，并说：“哇。（这丫竟然是女的）” Today, I finally quit the job that Ive been complaining about. Before I could tell my husband, he informed me that he had been laid off, and was thankful we still had my income. FML 今天，我终于辞掉了那个让我怨念的工作。在我跟我老爸说之前，他告诉我他被炒鱿鱼了，幸运的我们还可以依靠我。-。-| Today, I got my lip pierced. By the orthodontist. FML 今天我被一个专业牙医弄穿了嘴唇。 Today, I got so nervous that I actually peed my pants during a job interview. FML 今天，我很纠结我在一个见面会上竟然尿裤子了。 Today, I got news that my best friend passed away from breast cancer. While I was crying, my dad asked me what was wrong. I told him the news, to which he replied, Guess who just won fifty bucks! Apparently he was gambling on whether she would live or die. FML 今天我得知我只好的朋友死于乳腺癌。我哭得正伤心的时候，我老爸过来问我怎么了。我告诉他这件事，他说，“猜猜谁刚刚赢得了50块！”很明显的他拿我朋友的死活跟别人做赌注。 Today, I was walking home down a small street while listening to my iPod. I really got into the music, and started to dance really badly, only to realise there was