人际关系：说人闲话要三思而后行.docVIP

人际关系：说人闲话要三思而后行 温蒂?凡德尔(Wendy Fandl)见过许多孩子在缺乏大人引导的环境下长大，这些孩子经常彼此说些刻薄伤人的话，而且往往不假思索就脱口而出。在如今崇尚说闲话的流行文化影响下，孩子们似乎比他们的上一辈更喜欢讽刺挖苦。 Kids are struggling, says Ms. Fandl, who oversees an after-school program at Community Presbyterian Church in Delhi, Calif. Theyre looking for answers. 凡德尔说，孩子们无所适从，他们在寻找答案。她在加州Delhi市的社区基督教长老会(Community Presbyterian Church)负责一项儿童课外活动。 She suggests that before they say something to or about someone else, they should ask themselves: Is it kind? Is it true? Is it necessary? 她建议孩子们在对别人说什么或议论别人时，先问自己三个问题：这么说是善意的吗？是实情吗？有必要吗？ 　　 These three questions have been around for centuries, attributed to Socrates and Buddhist teachings, and linked to the tenets of Christianity and the Jewish prohibition on lashon hara, or evil language. But now, in an age of cultural shrillness and unrestrained rumor-mongering on the Internet, these three questions (or variations of them) are finding new adherents. In schools, workplaces, churches, therapy groups -- and at kitchen tables -- the questions are being used to temper one of the uglier human impulses. 这三个问题是数百年来的智慧结晶，包含着苏格拉底(Socrates)、佛教和基督教的教诲，以及犹太人关于“邪恶的舌头”(lashon hara)的戒条。然而，在当今这个崇尚刻薄文化的时代，在这个可以通过互联网肆无忌惮传播流言的时代，这三个问题（或由此衍生的东西）有了新的实际应用意义。在学校、工作场所、教堂、治疗组织──甚至在家中的餐桌旁──三原则都可以用来抑制人类较为丑恶的本性之一。 In Hartford, Conn., Trinity College recently held an event at which students and faculty discussed derogatory language and the power behind the kind/true/necessary mantra. In Chicago, Empower Public Relations issued a company-wide ban on gossip, firing three employees who violated the policy in 2007. In Boulder, Colo., Samuel Avital, a well-known mime artist who studied with Marcel Marceau, incorporates into his performances and teachings the idea that every word we utter should pass through three gates, each with a gatekeeper asking . . . well, you know the three questions. 在康涅狄格州的哈特福德市，美国三一学院(Trinity College)最近举行了一个活动，让学生和老师一起讨论刻薄话的问题，以及坚守善意/真实/必要三原则的意义。芝加哥一家公关公司Empower Public Relations在全公司范围禁止传播流言，并自2007年来开除了三名违反禁令的员工。