第三章 第三节 选用句型 (课堂讲解).ppt

第三章 第三节 选用句型 第三节 选用句型 请看下文存在什么不妥之处? My Plan for Summer Vacation Outline 1. 暑假即将来临. 2. 我计划要做的事. 3. 我希望暑假过得… Summer vacation is coming. I like summer vacation. I can do many things during this vacation. I’ve drawn my plan for it. Now I explain my plan for summer vacation. I plan to do many things. First, I will go to Mount Hua Shan with my friends. I like being close to nature. I like fresh air and beautiful songs of birds. Then I will visit my old middle school classmates and teachers. I like talking with them. Next, I will do social studies. I will have historical reviews. I will study local conditions. I will learn some customs, too. This is my plan for summer vacation. I do not want to waste my vacation. I think, I will have a good summer vacation. I will spend it happily, too. 分析: 从句子的长度看, 全文几乎都是短句, 读起来平淡无奇. 选用句型方面变化单一, 多为简单句, 主动语态句. 此外, 本文句子开头主语及开头句型单一化, 排列组合到一起后显得别扭. 从头到尾几乎是一 ”I” 到底, 遍布全文的”I will”, “I Like” 陈述句型成为写作技巧上的一个缺陷, 影响到文章的总体效果 以下是修改后一种可能的写法, 请比较. My Plan for Summer Vacation The longing summer vacation is approaching. It is the best part of the school year for me. I cannot let the holidays elapse(流逝) meaninglessly, my vacation should be a phase of harvest. The events in my plan should give me a sense of infinite potential. The following plan may reveal the intensity of my desire to travel, work and study in this vacation. In the first few days I want to climb Mount Hua Shan with several friends to refresh ourselves. Then I tend to visit relatives, senior school teachers and former classmates. Besides, to find out the best ways to cultivate my abilities, I will find a part-time job and conduct some social investigation. In short, I want to do interesting things in the summer vacation. Whatever I do, the goal is the same: to get necessary experience, acquire knowledge and broaden my horizons. Though the six-week vacation will pass away at lightning speed, its influence is bound to last long. 分析: 本文作者长句, 短句交替使用. 文中长句显得容量大, 表达了较为复杂完整, 严