成为顺当的激励者.docVIP

成为顺当的激励者 Its hard to make children do whats good for them when theyve got other ideas. Author and psychotherapist Gael Lindenfield shows how pressing the right buttons can make a lasting contribution to your childs wellbeing. Being a smooth motivator Physical force or threats may make children do as theyre told in the short term but their compliance will last only as long as the threat is relevant. Then they will go back to doing what they wanted to do in the first place. The parental approval ploy -- Mummy will be so pleased or Daddy would be so proud of you -- may have limited success when theyre small but it wont work on teenagers, whose strongest motivation is parental disapproval. This sort of eager-to-please passivity is not likely to impress a future boss looking for a go-getter. However, there are ways to build and boost their self-motivation in a way that will be as beneficial to you as to them. Here are some tips on how to help your children want to do what they need to do: 当孩子思想不通时，很难使他们做对他们自己有益的事。作家兼心理治疗学家盖尔·林登费尔德向你揭示了下列可能对你的孩子的健康成长具有持久影响的正确方法。 成为顺当的激励者 强制或威胁也许能使孩子暂时惟命是从，但也仅仅限于威胁起作用的时候。过后，他们又回到原来想做的事上去。 　　 父母采用赞许的办法--如：妈妈会非常高兴或爸爸会为你感到自豪--在孩子很小时有时也许能奏效，但对十几岁的少年却不起作用，这个年龄段的孩子做事总是与父母的意见相悖。这种对急欲取悦别人的否定心态将来找工作可就难了，它不可能给老板留下好印象，因为他要的是富有事业心的人。 然而，有一些办法可以发展和促进孩子的自我激励意识，它对父母和孩子都有益。以下即是如何帮助你的孩子主动做他们应该做的事的诀窍： 　 ☆ Constantly remind them they deserve success - self-esteem is at the heart of self-motivation but remember, your love is not enough. They have to act in a loving way towards themselves so make them aware of behaviour and habits that are self-destructive and self-sabotaging. ☆ Fire up their curiosity and excitement about life by extending their horizons -- take them on adventures to new places and ensure they meet as many different kinds of people as possible to broaden their outlook. 　 ☆ 经常提醒他们会取得成功--自尊是自我激励的核心，但要记住仅有你的爱是不够的。他们必须自爱，因此，要使他们认识哪些行为和习惯对自己有害，会造成对己不利的影响。 ☆扩大他们的视野以激发他们对生活的好奇心和兴奋点--带他们去异国他乡、奇风异俗的地方，尽量接触各色人等，以此扩大他们