jowwong在美国的演讲.doc

Good evening, everyone. My name is Joe Wong, but to most people, Im known as who?! which is actually my mothers maiden name, and the answer to my credit card security question. But joking aside, I just want to reassure everybody that I am invited here tonight. I grew up in China, who didnt? And my childhood memories are totally ruined by my childhood. When I was in elementary school, as part of the curriculum, I had to work at a rice paddy right next to a xxxxx quarry where they use explosives to break rocks, and that is where I learned that light travels faster than sound. Which is almost as slow as a flying rock. My dad was a grumpy guy, but occasionally he would try to cheer me up with jokes, but he doesnt do it right. When I was seven, one day he said to me, hey son, why is tofu better than centralized socialist economy? so five minutes later I said why? He said because I said so! I came to the United States when I was 24, to study at Rice University in Texas. That wasnt a joke until now. And I was driving this used car with a lot of bumper stickers thats impossible to peel off. And one of them said If you dont speak English, go home. And I didnt notice it for two years. Like many other immigrants, we want our son to become the president of this country and we try to make him bilingual, you know, Chinese at home and English in public, which is really tough to do, because many times I have to say to him in public Hey listen, if you dont speak English, go home” And he would say to me, Hey dad, why do I have to learn two languages? I said son, once you become the president of the United States, you are going to have sign legislative bills in English, and talk to debt collectors in Chinese”.When I graduated from Rice, I decided to stay in the United States, because in China, I cant do the thing I do best here, being ethnic. And in order for me to become a U.S. citizen, I have to take this American history lessons, where they ask us questions like Who i