听笑话学英语.doc

The newlyweds entered the elevator of their Miami Beach hotel. The operator, a magnificent blonde, looked at them in surprise and said, Why, hello, Teddy, how are you? When the couple reached their room, the piqued bride demanded: Who was that woman?! Take it easy, honey, said the groom, Im going to have trouble enough explaining you to her. The keys to your success are keeping your word and cleverness. Once you give somebody a promise, you must carry it out on matter what will happen. This is called keeping ones words. 1.rob +the bank steal不能直接叫bank等 2.Reach shore fast. 快速靠岸 Guy I know was towing his boat home from a fishing trip to Lake Huron when his car broke down. He didnt have his cell phone with him, but he thought maybe he might be able to raise someone on his marine radio to call for roadside assistance. He clicked on the radio and said, Mayday, mayday. A Coast Guard officer came on and said, State your location. I-75, two miles south of Standish. After a very long pause… 3. A doctor and a lawyer were talking at a party. Their conversation was constantly interrupted by people describing their ailments and asking the doctor for free medical advice. After an hour of this, the exasperated doctor asked the lawyer, What do you do to stop people from asking you for legal advice when youre out of the office? I give it to them, replied the lawyer, and then I send them a bill. The doctor was shocked, but agreed to give it a try. The next day, still feeling slightly guilty, the doctor prepared the bills. When he went to place them in his mailbox, he found a bill from the lawyer. ?give him an enema. shove it up your behind A patron in Montreal cafe turned on a tap in the washroom and got scalded. This is an outrage, he complained. The faucet marked C gave me boiling water. But, Monsieur, C stands for chaude - French for hot. You should know that if you live in Montreal. Wait a minute, roared the patron. The other tap is also marked C. Of course, said the manager