英文笑话九则.doc

英文笑话九则 Alexander the Great (One) ? Landon had made an unsuccessful attempt at the recitation, and the doctor, somewhat nettled, said:Landon, you don’t seem getting on very fast in this subject. You seem to lack ambition. Why, at your age Alexander the Great had conquered half the world.? Yes, said Landon,he couldnot help it, for you will recall the fact, doctor, that Alexander the Great had Aristotle for a teacher . 译文:?????????????????????????????? 亚历山大大帝（1）?? 　　兰登作了一次不成功的朗诵。老师有点不悦，对他说道：“兰登，你在这门课上好像进步不大，你好像缺乏志向。亚历山大大帝在你这个年龄可已经征服了半个世界。” 　　“是啊，”兰登说，“他没法不那样。博士先生，您回想一下史实，亚历山大大帝有亚里士多德做他的老师。” Seven Dogs (Two) ? Teacher: Now Thomas, what do five and one make? (No answer) Suppose I gave you five dogs and then anoher dog, how many dogs would you have. ? Thomas: Seven.? Teacher: Seven? Why would you have seven?? Thomas: Because I ve got a dog of my own at home. 译文：　　　　　　　　　　七只狗（2）　　老师：现在，汤玛斯，五加一等于多少？（没有回答）假设我给你五只狗，再给你另一只，你就有几只狗了？　　汤玛斯：七只。　　老师：七只？怎么会有七只？　　汤玛斯：因为我家里自己也有一只狗。 ????????????? 　 My Children s Father (Three) ??A young teacher tried hard to meet and know the fathers and mothers of all her pupils. One day a man sat opposite her on a bus. She was sure that he was one of the fathers she had met.She smiled at him. She was surprised when he said, without a smile, I don抰?think I know you,young lady. She had made a mistake, and she quickly tried to explain.牋 Oh, I am very sorry. I was sure you were the father of one of my children. 译文：?????????????????????? 　　　孩子的父亲（3）?　　一位年轻的女老师很努力地试着去接触和认识她所有学生的父母。有一天在公共汽车上，她的正对面坐着位男士。她确信他是她认识的学生家长之一。她对他微笑，他却很惊讶于他毫无笑容的回答：“我想我不认识你，年轻女士。”　　她知道她弄错了，然后马上想要解释。 “哦，真对不起。我以为你是我其中一个孩子的父亲。” ?????????? 　　　　 I Am The Ninth Letter (Four) 　Teacher: Ann, give me a sentence starting with I. 　Ann: I is …　Teacher: No, Ann. You must always say I am　Ann: Oh, right. I am the ninth letter of the alphabet. 译文：?????????????? 　　我是第九个字母（4）? 　老师：安娜，给我个以I开头的句子。? 　安娜： “I is …”? 　老师： 不对，安，你应该说“I am”。? 　安娜：哦，对。“I am the ninth