3. 作文讲评.doc

Phone changes life 存在问题： 如何开头 e.g. Phones have been increasingly popular in our life, even been an essential of everyone’s life. For one thing, with the development of the technology, phone become cheaper and cheaper. Many years ago, only the rich could have a phone, which was a symbol of wealth. But now almost every family has a fixed telephone and more and more people own a mobile phone. e.g. Nowadays phone has become quite an important part of our life. We can see it everywhere. Almost everybody has a phone. Many people have cell phones and phones are necessary to companies. We use it to communicate with each other, to talk about business, to ask for information, and even to buy things. At the same time, phone absolutely changes our life. 如何展开 e.g. Telephone plays important roles in our daily life. The history of communication dates back to the ancient time. The communication tools changed from the signal fire to letter, from semaphore to telegraph. Then the time of telephone comes. （与主题无关） The telephone has existed for so long and it will play an important part in our life in the future. Telephone helps us to do … e.g. …which greatly facilitates our daily lives. The phone spreads so rapidly, first from America to other West countries, then to people of all trades and professions all around the world. At present, it seems that nowhere don’t we hear the musical ringing of the phones, especially the mobile phones. … 句子间缺逻辑 Nowadays, we can see phones everywhere. Most people have phones at home, and more and more people want to buy a cell-phone. The phones, absolutely, change our life. 前后矛盾 Phones change our life in many aspects. The first advantage of phone is speed. On the whole, phone is a great invention. Although it may bring people some trouble, it has greatly changed people’s life. 结尾 Now we may say that the world won’t be so colorful without phone. 如何紧扣主题？ 缺结尾 Sample 1 Mobile phone—greatest gift of technology to human beings, has changed our lives in diffe