历年高考学生英语习作及点评.docVIP

PAGE PAGE 20历年高考学生英语习作与点评（1）2009年高考英语(全国卷I)作文题目假定你是李华,正在英国接受英语培训,住在一户英国人家里。今天你的房东Mrs Wilson不在家,你准备外出,请给Mrs Wilson写一留言条,内容包括: 　　1. 外出购物; 　　2. 替房东还书; 　　3. Tracy来电话留言: 　　 ①咖啡屋(Bolton Coffee)见面取消; 　　 ②此事已告知Susan; 　　 ③尽快回电。 　　注意:1. 词数100左右; 2. 可以适当增加细节,以使行文连贯。 　　 　　学生习作与点评 　　学生习作 　　Mrs Wilson, 　　1There is something important that you should know. 　　2Firstly, I am going out shopping with my friend Mary this morning and will come back late this evening. 2Secondly, I will return the books to the library, 3which were borrowed by you last week. In addition, Tracy 4have called you and left a message, 5which is said the plan of she meeting with you 6in Bolton Coffee was canceled because she had to attend her cousins wedding that day, and she asked me to apologize to you. Susan was informed of this change too. Finally, Tracy asked you to 7recall her as soon as possible. 　　8Thats all the importance of today. 　　Have a nice day! 　　Li Hua 　　 　　原文修改稿 　　Mrs Wilson, 　　I am going out shopping with my friend Mary this morning and will come back late this evening. I will return the books that you borrowed last week to the library. In addition, Tracy called you and left a message, saying that the meeting at Bolton Coffee was canceled because she had to attend her cousins wedding that day, and she asked me to apologize to you. Susan was informed of this change too. Finally, Tracy asked you to call her back as soon as possible. 　　Have a nice day! 　　Li Hua 　　 　　整体点评 　　 　　文章涵盖了题目要求的所有要点内容,也适当增加了一些细节(例如留言要点1中的“going out shopping with my friend Mary this morning and will come back late this evening ”、要点3中的“because she had to attend her cousins wedding that day” 和“and she also asked me to say sorry to you”等)。但是,文章的整体风格过于正式,尤其是文中开头第一句和倒数第二句不符合英语留言条的表达方式。 留言条英语在表达中比较随意,内容简短,开门见山,用词通俗,把事情说清、让人明白就行,在格式上也比较简单。值得表扬的是作者使用了一些高级词汇和句型。遗憾的是,文中仍存在不少语法错误,作者的写作基本功还需进一步加强。 　　 　　难点分析 　　1.此处没有语法错误,但不是地道的英语留言条的表达方式,这句话可以删掉。 　　2. Firstly和secondly来陈述留言的内容,显得有些程式化,英语留言条中很少使用这样的词汇,这两个