英语幽默故事精选.docxVIP

英语幽默故事精选 　 They are directly from America 它们是从美国直接带来的 ? Not long after an old Chinese woman came back to China from her visit to her daughter in the States, she went to a city bank to deposit the US dollars her daughter gave her. At the bank counter, the clerk checked each note carefully to see if the money was real. It made the old lady out of patience. 　　At last she could not hold any more, uttering. Trust me, Sir, and trust the money. They are real US dollars. They are directly from America. 一位中国老妇人在美国看望女儿回来不久，到一家市银行存女儿送给她的美元。在银行柜台，银行职员认真检查了每一张钞票，看是否有假。 　　这种做法让老妇人很不耐烦，最后实在忍耐不住说：“相信我，先生，也请你相信这些钞票。这都是真正的美元，它们是从美国直接带来的。” ? As the years turn .生日来临之际 For her 82nd birthday，I surprised my grandmother with a birthday greeting signed by the President.? (Upon request，this service is available to seniors over 80.)When I asked grandma how she felt receiving a card from the White House，she had a ready answer. Theres no privacy in this country any more,she said. They even keep track of your birthday. 我奶奶过82岁的生日时，我送给她一份惊奇的礼物—一张由总统签名的生日贺卡。(根据规定，80岁以上的老年人可得到此项服务。)当我问奶奶收到来自白宫的贺卡有何感想时，她毫不犹豫地回答说:“在这个国家，再也没有隐私了，他们就连你的生日都追踪着。” Identification 证明 A woman came into our bank to get a check cashed，but she didnt have an account with us.? When I asked her for some identification, she showed me several charge cards，her Social Security card and a library card. I told her we needed a drivers license，but she didri t have one. 一位妇女来到我们银行想兑换一张支票，但她在我们这儿没建立帐户。当我问她要证明材料时，她把社会保险卡、图书卡拿给我看。我告诉她我们要看她的驾驶证，她说她没有。 ?Dont you have something with your picture on it？I asked. “难道你就没带照片的东西吗？” Oh, sure,she said as she flipped to a family photo in her wallet. Thats me in the back row. “噢，有啊，”她边说边从钱包里拿出一张合家照，“站在后排的那个就是我 Being considerate .善解人意 I had iust learned to drive and, like most teen-agers，begged at every opportunity to take over the wheel. During a family vacation my father finally allowed me drive on a long，straight stretch on highway.I was in my glory until ther