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Computers are our good friends
When asked about which one to choose – the books or the computers , everyone has his own view. ButBut在此处多余,应该去掉 having experienced both books and computers whileWhile应该接句子,此处用法不对,去掉句子会通顺。 at university , I unhesitatingly cast my vote for computers because I think computers isIs 改为 are more beneficial for university students.
But在此处多余,应该去掉
While应该接句子,此处用法不对,去掉句子会通顺。
Is 改为 are
First of all, nowadays computers are widely used in all aspects of society, especially computers have become more and more important in educational field. For instance, when we come across difficulties in studies, we can turn to them for help. Of course, they will do us a favor. In addition, computer can greatly enhance people’s working efficiency when compared with books. You needn’t go the library 少了toto search the books for a long time. Furthermore, computers will give you what you can’t find in the books. They can provide a lot of information which makes us know what happened all over the world without going out. They will broaden our mind and widen our eyesight.
少了to
Of course , there are some negative effects caused by computers. But I think their advantages outweigh any disadvantages they may have. Therefore, I am for the computers at university. In short, we should make the best use of its good aspect应该加s to get furthermore gorgeous此处表达的语意不明。.
应该加s
此处表达的语意不明。
点评:本文围绕话题论述得颇有条理,论据也挺有说服力,论证得很有气势。能严格按照总分总结构编排全文,主体说理部分用三个衔接词一步步进行充分阐明,有条不紊。结尾总结加号召,做到与开头相呼应。
不足之处:文章中有少量语法错误
字迹不太工整,卷面不太整洁。
望改进!
批阅者:09英教一
黄晓敏
9号
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