英语幽默故事.pptx

英语幽默故事;A Good Boy Little Robert asked his mother for two cents. What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday? I gave it to a poor old woman, he answered. Youre a good boy, said the mother proudly. Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman? She is the one who sells the candy. ;Ill See to the Rest A guard was about to signal his train to start when he saw an attractive girl standing on the platform by an open door, talking to another pretty girl inside the carriage. Come on, miss! he shouted. Shut the door, please! Oh, I just want to kiss my sister goodbye, she called back. You just shut that door, please, called the guard, and Ill see to the rest. ;Sleeping Pills Bob was having trouble getting to sleep at night. He went to see his doctor, who prescribed some extra-strong sleeping pills. Sunday night Bob took the pills, slept well and was awake before he heard the alarm. He took his time getting to the office, strolled in and said to his boss: I didnt have a bit of trouble getting up this morning. Thats fine, roared the boss, but where were you Monday and Tuesday? ;The mean mans party. The notorious cheap skate finally decided to have a party. Explaining to a friend how to find his apartment, he said, Come up to 5M and ring the doorbell with your elbow. When the door open, push with your foot. Why use my elbow and foot? Well, gosh, was the reply, Youre not coming empty-handed, are you?;?A story around campus has it that a student once sent a telegram to his parents reading: Mom - flunked all courses. Kicked out of school. Prepare Pop. Two days later he received a response: Pop prepared. Prepare yourself. ;?Advice for Kid A bit of advice for those about to retire. If you are only 65, never move to a retirement community. Everybody else is n their 70s, 80s, or 90s. So when something has to be moved, lifted or loaded, they yell ,“ Get the kid. ;?Where Am I  An Englishman lost his way while he was driving in the count