雅思大作文批改范例8.docVIP

Some people think that personal happiness s directly related to economic success. Others argue that happiness depends on different factors. Discuss both views and give your own opinion What is the key to access to happiness has aroused peoples interest. Some people claim that money plays a vital role in gaining happiness, while others think that there are a variety of elements constricting to it. Personally, I agree with the latter opinion. Money provides people with more opportunities to pursue happiness, because economic success can make it possible for people to enhance their quality of life. By purchasing expensive jewels, luxury house, sports car, etc. without worries of monetary pressure, wealthy person这里应该用复数，people泛指 can enjoy better living standards than that of ordinary people这里改成ones，为了避免重复. When financial pressure and life stress do not exist in one’s life, he or she is likely to have less worry and have rich entertainment, thereby achieving the access to happiness. 这里应该用复数，people泛指 这里改成ones，为了避免重复 Although fortune is significant to obtain happiness, there are also many other factors form important parts of eudemonia. An active lifestyle can prompt peoples spiritual treasure. This means that people can receive happiness by having a healthy life, warm relatives and intimate friends. These valuable factors enable people have a positive attitude to tackle difficulties and enjoy a happy Iife. As far as I am concerned, happiness cannot always be purchased by money. Rich material life sometimes could cause negative impact on achieving happiness. It is noteworthy that numerous of去掉，numerous一般用作形容词，直接修饰名词 wealthy people who have affluent possessions, in contrast, have often ended up in a sick lifestyle. This makes them suffer from sickness, lonely and desperation,前后句子完整，所以用句号 in the light of fact that money is no guarantee of happiness. 去掉，numerous一般用作形容词，直接修饰名词 前后句子完整，所以用句号 To summarize, financial success could give people an ease这里修饰名词，要用easy Iife to enjoy