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D
We’ve all been there: in a lift, in line at the bank or on an airplane, surrounded by
people who are,
like
us,
deeply
focused
on their
smartphones
or,
worse,
struggling
with the
uncomfortable silence.
What’s the problem?
It ’s possible
that
we all
have
compromised
conversational
intelligence. It
’s more likely that none of us start a conversation because it
’s awkward
and challenging, or we think it
’s annoying and unnecessary. But the next time you find
yourself among strangers, consider that small talk is
worth the trouble. Experts say it
’s
an invaluable social practice that results in big benefits.
Dismissing
small
talk
as
unimportant
is
easy,
but
we can’t
forget
that
deep
relationships wouldn
’t
even exist
if
it
weren’t
for
casual conversation.
Small ta lk is
the grease( 润滑剂 )
for
social
communication,
says Bernardo Carducci,
director
of the Shyness Research Institute
at Indiana
University
Southeast.
"Almost every great love
story and each big business
deal begins with
small talk,
" he explains.
"The key to successful small talk is learning how to connect
with others, not just communicate with them.
"
In a 2014 study, Elizabeth Dunn, associate professor of psychology at UBC, invited
people on their way into a coffee shop. One group was asked to seek out an interaction(
互
动 ) with
its
waiter; the
other,
to speak only
when necessary.
The results
showed that
those
who chatted with their server
reported
significantly higher positive feelings and
a better
coffee shop experience.
"It ’s not that talking to the waiter is
better than talking to
your husband, " says
Dunn. "But interactions
with peripheral(
边缘的 ) membersof our
social
network matter for our well-being also.
"
Dunn believes that
people who reach out to strangers
feel
a significantly
greater
sense
of belonging, a bond with others. Carducci believes developing such a sense of belonging
starts with small talk.
"Small talk is the basis of good manners,
" he says.
What phenomenon is described in the
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