The Ellen DeGeneres Show《艾伦秀 20150408 Amy.Schumer》完整中英文对照剧本.docxVIP

有请艾伦·德杰尼勒斯上场Here she is now, Ellen DeGeneres.谢谢 谢谢大家Thank you so much! Thank you so much!谢谢你们Hi! Thank you so much!非常感谢Oh boy! Thanks so much!好的 大家请坐Yeah! Right? Okay. Have a seat.很感谢大家 你们真好Thanks so much! That is so nice of you.我也爱你们Back at you. I feel the same way,爱你们每一个人about all of you, each everyone of you,谢谢大家thanks so much.我也在对你们招手I think I wave too, just about all of you.我很肯定I am pretty sure.再近一点就会很奇怪了Any closer, and than it is weird.这么远招手很正常Its... You can wave from this far,要是距离太近了and then but if you get too close,会感觉怪怪的its so weird to wave to something just like that.合适的招手距离 我觉得是六英尺Suppose to be waving. I think its 6 feet, thats the rule.我也不知道I dont know.外面天很好 春天到了Boy, oh boy, its nice outside, its spring.你能看出来是春天You can tell its spring.洛杉矶到处都能看到 春天的迹象I am seeing the signs everywhere in Los Angeles.草地从绿棕色 变成了棕绿色The grass is turning from greenish-brown to brownish-green.所以说So,这就是我今天的话题here is what I want to talk about today.你们知道话题是什么吗You know what I wanna talk about?才不告诉你 这是秘密Well, cant tell you. Its mystery.我喜欢有趣的秘密 你们呢I love a good mystery, do you?别告诉我 这是秘密Dont tell me, its a mystery.故事发生在两周前Our story began two weeks ago,那是纯真年代it was a simpler time.泽恩还在单向乐队Zayn was still in One Direction,在印第安纳州 你还能在婚礼上吃披萨and Indiana you can still have a pizza at weddings.那是在星期二的晚上It was Tuesday evening.太太和我在起居室 我们在看书The Mrs and I were in the our parlor, and we were reading.起居室的意思是 客厅By parlor, I mean living room.阅读的意思是 看网飞剧By reading, I mean watching Netflix.反正最后 我们准备睡了So anyway, we finally went to bed,这时候 波西娅说了三个字and thats when Portia said the three words谁在睡觉前 都不想听到的三个字that nobody wants hear when they are about to go to sleep.啥声音Whats that sound?是哔哔声It was a beep.不是烟雾报hearts;警hearts;器的声音And it wasnt the smoke detector.是很神秘的哔哔声 我也算听过很多种哔哔声了It was a mysterious beep, and I have heard a lot of beeps.但这种还真没听过I... I have never heard this one.我不知道这是什么东西发出来的I didnt have beeping clue of what it