英语小笑话作文短文阅读.docxVIP

英语小笑话作文短文阅读 Harry: My big brother shaves every day. 哈里:“我哥哥每天都刮脸。” Henry: My brother shaves fifty times a day. 亨利:“那有什么，我哥哥每天刮SO次脸。” Harry: Is he crazy? 哈里:“他疯了吗?” Henry: No , he s a barber. 亨利:“没有，他是一个理发师。” A blind man was waiting to cross the road when his guide dog cocked its leg, then urinated on its owner. Calmly, the blind man reached into his pocket and took out a biscuit for the dog. A passerby whod seen everything remarked: That’s extremely tolerant of you, especially after what he just did.” 一个盲人和他的导盲犬站在十字路口上正等着过马路。这时那个一导盲犬把腿抬了起来开始小便，毫无疑问盲人的裤子湿了。但是这个盲人却平静地从口袋里拿出了一块饼干给狗吃。一个过路人对此很不解地说道:“你的脾气真好，那条狗都作了这样的事情你还拿饼干给它。” Not really，”came the reply. I’m just finding out where his mouth is, so I can kick him in the nuts.” “不是这样的。”盲人回答说:“我只是想知道它的嘴在哪里，这样我就可以踢它的屁股。” Back in the old Wild West, there were two blond cowpokes, Jeff and Dave. One day, the two were enjoying a strong sasparilla in the local saloon, when a man walked into the bar with an Indians head under his am. 故事发生在很多年以前的西部，有两位金发牛仔。一个叫杰夫，一个叫大卫。一天，他们两个人正在一个小酒馆里品尝烈性酒，这时一个男的走进了酒馆，腋下还夹了一个印第安人的头。 The barman shakes his hand and says, I hate Indians; last week the bastards burnt my barn to the ground, assaulted my wife and killed my children.” He then says, If any man brings me the head of an Indian, III give him one thousand dollars.” 酒店老板一边摇手一边说:“我讨厌印第安人，上周那些可恶的家伙把我的谷仓烧为了平地，强暴了我的太太，杀死了我的孩子们，”他接着说:“如果谁能给我带来印度安人的头，我就给他1000美元。” The two blonds looked at each other and walked out of the bar to go hunting for an Indian. They were walking around for a while when suddenly they saw one; Jeff threw a rock which hit the Indian right on the head. The Indian fell off his horse, but landed seventy feet down a ravine. The two nuts made their way down the ravine where Dave pulled out a knife to claim their trophy. 这两个金发牛仔互相看了看，走出酒馆去寻找印弟安人了。他们走了一段时间，突然看到了一个。杰夫向那个印第安人扔了一块石头，正击中了他的脑袋。印第安人从马上摔了下来，掉到了70英尺深的峡谷里。他们两个人沿着峡谷跑了下去。大卫取出了刀子正准