CET写作典型例文精彩点评（五）.pdfVIP

2003年6月考试六级作文题：Changes of Ownership of Houses in China 图表作文，图表内容是1990，1995，2000的公房和私房变化柱状表，趋势是公房越来越少，私房越来越多。 提纲：1.简单描述一下图表内容 2.变化原因 3.这个变化对个人和社会的影响 例1． （2分段） 此分段标准为条理不清，思路紊乱，大部分句子均有严重错误。 为了不影响市容，给大家造成负面影响，故此处略去100字…… 例2．（5分段） It is descerned that（删掉）the number of pirate（private） houses had been on a（an） increase from 1990 to 2000.In 1990, it was about 20 percent; In 1995 it was 40 percent; In 2000, it was 80 percent. There were some reasons for this fact. One of them was the improvement of peoples living conditions（condition）, all people wanted to own pirate houses. On the other hand, peoples income was on a（an） increase, they could afford to buy pirate houses! Obviously, there were some good things resulted from this fact. Such as it could improve Chinese economy. But there were also some bad things, such as it took much time to go to work! 东方教育点评：（1）本文基本切题。 （2）字数不够，要酌情扣分。 （2）第一段描述图表不应该单列举出数字，而是应该重点描写变化趋势 ；第二段说明理由不够充分；第三段 file:///G|/Documents and Settings/Lch/桌面/下载/英语4、6、8级/新建文件夹/CET写作典型例文精彩点评（五）.txt [2012-3-16 23:06:23] 说明影响有点牵强。 （4）全文语言错误较多。 例3．（8分段） From the graph it is clear that the percentage of the state owned house in china in a city has decreased greatly from 75% in 1990 to 20% in 2000, while the private house has increased sharply. what has caused these changes? There are, I think, at least two main reasons for these changes. to begin with, with the development of the technology and science, peoples living standard has improved greatly and they can afford to buy high-graded things such as TV, computer and even house. Secondly it is due to the mind people hold and the ecomonic policy. As is known to all, the price of house is often very high, and people must (used to) save their money (for) many years, （however,）