高中英语专题写作 学生铺张浪费现象.docVIP

错误分析 1. 时态 图表作文，调查结果，讨论结果 一般现在时 2. Topic sentence 与supporting details 不相关 Version 1 Personally, both parents and society are to blame. Materials are needed but not necessary. Parents should teach children how to live with love but not money. Only if parents and society serve as good models will children live a better life. 1)Personally, both parents and society are to take the responsibility. 2)Parents should teach children how to live with love but not money. 3)While for society, …. is needed. 4)Only when parents and society … will…. Version 2 From my perspective, I’m in favour of spending birthday outside. It is certainly important to make children happy. Of course, every bean has its black. Therefore, what matters is how we can feel happy, not whether we go outside or inside. 1) From my perspective, I’m in favour of spending birthday outside. 2) After all, it is important to make children happy. 3) Also, staying outside to celebrate may create a friendly atmosphere between friends and relatives. 4) I firmly believe that with a grand celebration, the child will surely enjoy a more memorable birthday. 3. 内容层次性不强，没有层层递进。 Version 1 As is shown in the picture above, there is a feast at home, but the boy shouts, “Who would celebrate their birthday at home?” The parents are shocked. As we know, it tells that the boy is tired of celebration at home. He wants to go outside, seeing a film, eating western food and having a happy celebration. Of course, the boy must have attended the others’ perfect celebration, so he wants to host one too. From my perspective, it’s not necessary to do that. Birthday is just a sign of growing up, a cake and a birthday song is enough. Celebrating outside would cost parents’ a lot of money. So, clear up your mind, don’t let parents so upset. Birthday belongs to yourself, not restaurant. Version 2 As is shown in the picture above, the child is unhappy because h