《The New》.pdf

3/13/13 The New, Nasty Sibling Rivalry | The Global Mail MICHAEL FITZJ AMES The New, Nasty Sibling Rivalry By A dele Horin M arch 3, 2013 Mum and Dad are getting old, needing care, but hey, the kids, they really need the money . Early Inheritance Syndrome is tearing families apart — and it’s about to get worse, with aged-care reforms putting the family home in the balance. Nearly all people on the other side of middle-age know someone engaged in bitter battles with their siblings ov er the care of ageing parents, and their money . Brothers and sisters who may hav e drifted apart or loathe each other, who hav e liv ed in separate homes, cities or countries for decades, find themselv es in their 50s and 60s drawn into the old family dy namics whether they like it or not . When Mum breaks her hip and goes into sudden decline, when Dad’s dementia can no longer be ignored, when the status quo is upset and the family must re-engage to make decisions, the scene is set for sibling riv alries to re-emerge. It’s a scenario older than King Lear. The psy chological underpinnings are eternal: jealousy , greed, guilt, and competition for parental lov e. But forces in modern society are increasing the number and ferocity of sibling struggles, according to the growing band of “elder” lawy ers and mediators who specialise in the area. “Thirty or 40 years ago, it was a huge thing to dispute a will, and only the rich did it.” “I work in ugly things day after day ,” say s Pam Suttor, a specialist in elder law who co-chairs the Law Council of Australia’s national elder law and succession law committee. Parents are liv ing longer. The 85-and-ov er age group is the fastest growing in Australia, and more hav e dementia. They are stay ing at home longe