英语美文赏析TheUglyTruthaboutBeauty.docVIP

The Ugly Truth about Beauty By Dave Barry If youre a man, at some point a woman will ask you how she looks. How do I look? shell ask. You must be careful how you answer this question. The best technique is to form an honest yet sensitive opinion, then collapse on the floor with some kind of fatal seizure.* Trust me, this is the easiest way out. Because you will never come up with the right answer. collapse ?[k??l?ps] vi.／ n.fatal ?[?feitl] a.致命的，灾难性的；重大的，决定性的 seizure ?[?si:??] n.没收；占有；抵押The problem is that women generally do not think of their looks in the same way that men do. Most men form an opinion of how they look in seventh grade, and they stick to it for the rest of their lives. Some men form the opinion that are irresistibly handsome and they do not change this opinion even when their noses bloat to the size of eggplants and their eyebrows grow together to form what appears to be a giant forehead-dwelling tropical caterpillar.* stick to ?粘贴在…上；紧跟；坚持，忠于，信守 irresistibly ??adv. 不可抵抗地(压制不住地, 无可反驳地) bloat vt. 使肿胀 adj. 肿胀的 n. 膨胀，自傲, (家畜)肠道炎 eggplant n. 茄子 eyebrow n.眉毛 dwelling n.住处 caterpillar ? n.毛虫，蝴蝶的幼虫 Most men, I believe, think of themselves as average-looking. Men will think this even if their faces cause heart failure in cattle at a range of 300 yards.* Being average does not bother them; average is fine, for men. This is why men never ask anybody how they look. Their primary form of beauty care is to shave themselves, which is essentially the same form of beauty care that they give to their lawns. If, at the end of his four-minute daily beauty regimen, a man has managed to wipe most of the shaving cream out of his hair and is not bleeding too badly, he feels that he has done all he can, so he stops thinking about his appearance and devotes his mind to more critical issues, such as the Super Bowl.* regimen n.养生法，生活规则 Women do not look at themselves this way. If I had to express, in three words, what I believe most women think about their appeara