EffectiveSentences.pptVIP

Effective Sentences Unity and Coherence Unity (一致性) Unity is the first quality of an effective sentence. A unified sentence expresses a single complete thought. It does not contain ideas that are not closely related, nor does it express a thought that is not complete by itself. ~ requires that all the sentence elements composing a sentence, all the sentences composing a paragraph, all the paragraphs composing an essay bear directly on the one main idea——the theme（主题） 一致性是指句子所表示的思想是一个完整的统一体。所有的句子用词，所有的句子，所有的段落都要围绕一个中心思想/主题。 Example: “I got up early. Mom told me that there was always traffic jam and our car was a little bit too old and we need buy a new one”. Error：The first two sentences are not unified and there is no mention of the time for the first sentence. The theme of the second sentence is not unified because there’s no mention of the logical relationship between the clauses, which are separated with the first sentence. Revised： “I got up early Monday morning. Mom told me that there was always heavy traffic, and as our car was a bit old and couldnt run fast，we’d better start earlier.” Faulty: Born in a small town in South China in the early 50s, he grew up to be a famous musician. Revised: He was born in a small town in South China in the early 50s. In his childhood he liked to sing songs. Later he entered a conservatory. In the 70s he became a famous musician. analysis The two parts of the original sentence are not logically connected, because a man born in a small town in South China in the early 50s would not necessarily become a famous musician. Therefore, the sentence lacks unity. The revised sentences are better, as how and when he became a musician is explained. Faulty: Du Fu was one of the greatest poets.Revised: Du Fu was one of the greatest poets of the Tang period. The first sentence is faulty because the idea expressed is not complete: there is no mention of the time or country. “The Tang period” makes these clear, for we all know that th