成都戴家老院子附近英语培训学校-成人零基础.docVIP

经典英语笑话 Count to one Hundred Before You Speak In class,the teacher,with his back leaning against the stove,said to the students,Before you speak,you should think and count to at least 50,and for important matters to 100. No sooner had the teacher stopped talking than the students began to count. At last all the students shouted together,1...98,99,100.teacher,your clothes are on fire. 数到一百再说 课堂上，老师背靠火炉站着，对学生们说：“说话前要三思，起码数到50，重要的事情要数到一百。” 老师的话音刚落，学生立刻从“1”开始数起来。最后一起喊：“98，99，100！老师，您的衣服着火了。” The Advantage of Alcohol In order to prove the harmful effect of alcohol,the teacher put a bug into a glass filled with alcohol,soon the bug died. The teacher asked a student,what does this show? The student answered,It shows that people wont get parasites if they drink more alcohol. 酒的好处 为了证明酒精对生物的危害，老师把一只虫子放入装有酒精的杯子里，虫子很快就死了。老师问一个学生：“这说明了什么？” 学生答道：“说明人多喝酒，就不会长虫子。” Exchange the Tortoise for the Wolf Teacher:Some students are becoming arrogant.Do you remember the story about race between the hare and the tortoise?Now,Xiaoming,will you please tell us why the hare was defeated by the tortoise? Xiaoming:Because the hare fell asleep. Teacher:Absolutely right!What should we do so that the hare wont fall asleep? Xiaoming:Exchange the tortoise for the wolf. 把乌龟换成狼 老师：有些同学开始骄傲了，大家还记得龟兔赛跑的故事吗。小明，你说说看，兔子为什么输给乌龟？ 小明：因为它睡觉了。 老师：对极了！我们应该怎么做才能让兔子不睡觉呢？ 小明：把乌龟换成狼！ Good Boy Little Robert asked his mother for two cents. What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday? I gave it to a poor old woman, he answered. Youre a good boy, said the mother proudly. Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman? She is the one who sells the candy. 好孩子 小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱。 “昨天给你的钱干什么了？” “我给了一个可怜的老太婆，”他回答说。 “你真是个好孩子，”妈妈骄傲地说。“再给你两分钱。可你为什么对那位老太太那么感兴趣呢？” “她是个卖糖果的。” Nest and Hair My sister, a primary school teacher, was informed by one of her pupils that a bird had built its nest in the tree outside the classroom. What kind of