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1 Romantic love is one of the most enticing topics around. Just about every movie, TV show, and country-music song contains some element of romance. For many, romantic relationships are by far the most important in their lives. 浪漫的爱情是最迷人的一个话题。几乎所有的电影，电视节目，音乐和乡村音乐歌曲包含一些爱情元素。对许多人来说，浪漫关系是迄今为止在他们的生活中最重要的。 As a society, we long for intimacy. We grow up believing that if we just meet the right person we will be happy. This message is popularized by modern media. It is perhaps one of the most destructive messages around. Quentin Crisp says: The consuming desire of most human beings is to deliberately plant their whole life in the hands of some other person. I would describe this method of searching for happiness as immature ... 作为一个社会，我们长期的亲密。我们相信如果我们“仅仅满足人的权利”，我们会很高兴的。这个消息是由现代媒体推广。这也许是最具破坏性的消息。昆廷说：“脆的大多数人的消费欲望是故意的种植他们的整个生活在另一个人的手。我会形容这种方法寻找幸福是不成熟的……” When we feel unhappy it is natural to start searching for the cause of our distress. There is nothing wrong with this, but it becomes a problem when we start searching outside of ourselves. We are taught that 当我们不开心的时候很自然地开始寻找我们的痛苦的原因。这没有错，但它成为一个问题，当我们开始搜索以外的自己。我们都知道 if we are happily coupled we wont have problems. It is therefore natural to blame our partner for our aloneness. The consequences of this belief are enormously self-destructive. 如果我们是快乐的“耦合”我们不会有问题。责怪我们的“孤独的伙伴是很自然的。”这一信念的后果是巨大的自我毁灭。 Romantic love is exciting, but what happens when the romance wears off? Experts estimate that romantic sexual attractions last only 18 months to two years. Using love or sex as a drug will only prevent us from reaching maturity. We do need excitement and stimulation and joy and intimacy. But in mature love we are concerned with our loved ones joy and fulfillment. The satisfaction comes not from our own immediate gratification, but from the joy of giving to the other person, and watching them grow and thrive. 浪漫的爱情是令人兴奋的，但是当爱情消失？专家估计，浪漫的性吸引力，最后只有18个月到两年。用爱和性作为药物只会阻止我们达到成熟。我们需要兴奋和刺激、欢乐和亲密。但在成熟的爱，我们关心的是我们所爱的人的快乐和满足感。满足不是来