写作课——如何添加细节.pptVIP

How to add details to your composition? 15分 覆盖所有内容要点 句式和词汇满足任务要求 语法和用词基本准确 使用了简单的语句间连接成分，内容连贯 12 覆盖了内容要点 句式和词汇基本满足任务要求 语法和用词方面有一些错误，但不影响理解 基本达到预期写作目的 各个档次的作文评语 对比两篇文章 第一篇 My name is Li Hua of Class 1 Grade 2. Last week, our headteacher fell off the stage in the front of the classroom when having a class, which really thrilled us. Without hesitation, some students, one of them carried our teacher on his back, hurried to the clinic. After careful examination, the doctor was sure that our teacher had broken her leg and needed a month-long rest. Each one of us was anxious for her early recover. Every day, several students represented for the whole class came to visit her and assisted her to do necessary exercise. They talked happily and our teacher was much better day after day. Finally, one day she came back to the classroom in her armchair smiling. We applauded and cheered up for her devotion to us. Not until that moment did we realize the deep emotion and relation between our teacher and us. Form then on, we would study hard, to work as a reward of our teacher’s love. 第二篇 Recently an unfortunately thing occured to my class. In class, each of us listened to teacher carefully and took notes attentively. Suddenly, our teacher broke down. With no hesitation, one of the students who called Li Hua hurried to carry our teacher to the clinic. One day later, our teacher was in hospital. Instantly we finished the class, we couldn’t help going to the hospital. Next came the most moving moment immediately we sitting around her. We talked merrily, relaxing the unforgettable moment. For his unselfish devotion, each of us appreciated her. Finally, our teacher came back to school with the help of one student. We cheered and delighted. 两篇作文哪篇更好？为什么？ My name is Li Hua of Class 1 Grade 2. Last week, our headteacher fell off the stage in the front of the classroom when having a class, which really thrilled us. Without hesitation, some students