funnystory英语幽默故事.doc

5.有个老头儿的狗死了，老头就把死狗打包托运准备带回家乡厚葬。但是托运的时候机场的人不知道是死的，下飞机的时候发现是死的，吓坏了。以为把狗托运死了。于是就派人去附近狗市买了一个一模一样的。后来这老头打开行李发现狗活了。于是老头给吓死了！ 3. 在中国有一个最凶残的人，名叫活活，因为我们常看到或听到：活活把人打死了、活活把人逼死了、活活把人气死了；活活把人急死了……在中国，有一个最可怜的人，名叫活活，因为我们也常看到或听到：活活被打死了、活活被急死了、活活被逼死了、活活被气死了…… .美术老师问学生：“你为什么交白卷？”学生说：“我画了啊！我画的是牛吃草。”老师问：“那草呢？”他说：“被牛吃掉了。”老师问：“那牛呢？”他说：“吃完草走了。” A Baby Sister　　Nurse: Dont you like your new baby sister, Johnnie? 　　Johnnie: She’s all right, but I wish she had been a boy. Willie Smith had got a new sister, and now hell think Im trying to copy him. Imitation　　A schoolboy went home with a pain in his stomach. Well, sit down and have your tea, said his mother. Your stomachs hurting because its empty. Itll be all right when youhave got something in it. 　　Shortly afterwards Dad come in from the office, complaining of a headache. 　　Thats because its empty, said his bright son. Youd be all right if you had something in it. ? I Taught the Teacher 　　Mother asked her little boy, Darling, what did the teacher teach you today? Nothing, Mum, answered the son proudly, instead, she asked me how much one plus two was, and I taught her three. Lucky Mother 　　A young mother believed that it was very wrong to waste any food when there were so many hungry people in the world. One evening, she was giving her small daughter her tea before putting her to bed. First she gave her a slice of fresh brown bread and butter, but the child said that she did not want it like that. She asked for some jam on her bread as well. 　　Her mother looked at her for a few seconds and then said, When I was a small girl like you, Lucy, I was always given either bread and butter, or bread and jam, but never bread with butter and jam. 　　Lucy looked at her mother for a few moments with pity in her eyes and then said to her kindly, Arent you pleased that youve come to live with us now? Things Have Been Okay 　　A young couple was becoming anxious about their four-year-old son, who had not yet talked. They took him to special