ACT官方第二篇满分范文写法评析及高相似度仿写.docxVIP

ACT官方第二篇满分范文写法评析及高相似度仿写2015年9月起ACT考试写作部分改革，同时ACT官网上放出了一道作文样题（intelligent machines）和6篇不同分数段的范文，得分从四个1分到四个6分不等（新写作部分有四个individual domain scores）。同年10月，ACT替换了Sample Essay 6的文章内容，新的Sample Essay 6得分依旧是四个6分，但结构上和写法上都出现了一些变化。下面，朱敏琦老师简要分析一下该文各段写法，并依照全文结构，采用近乎“临摹”的方式，写作2015年10月ACT北美作文题。江老师称赞道：“对于语言表达能力较弱的同学在英语写作学习路径上（包括托福、ACT，以及SSAT作文），让学生自己就某个话题独立创作的训练方法往往很难操作：有时学生花了很多时间，但效果不尽如人意（因为脑海中想表达的意思无法用英语顺畅表达，能顺畅使用的英语表达太少）。更好操作的训练方法是引领式模仿（仿写）。这就需要作文老师的引领。朱老师给出了一个很好的引领范例。”本文系沃邦教育原创文章，未经允许不得转载。文丨朱敏琦新Sample Essay 6Advances in technology have become so widely accepted in today’s culture that very few people are willing to pause to consider the consequences. People get so excited about what new technologies can offer that they forget to question whether there might be any negative effects. Without caution and deliberation, replacing the natural with the mechanical would undoubtedly be disasterous.简评：常规开头，引出主题（技术进步advances in technology，隐约对应intelligent machines），表明观点（应当谨慎caution and deliberation，否则后果很严重disasterous）。The economic implications of the potential mechanical takeover alone should be enough to dissuade anyone from moving too fast. In the event the robots are more widely used in the workplace, humans would surely be replaced. At first, businesses would benefit from the efficiency of robots, but eventually a depressed job market would lead to a population that struggles just to feed themselves and their families, let alone purchase the products these robots make. In the long run, society will suffer if it does not take care to prevent the economic consequences of giving everything over to machines.评析：本段反驳Perspective Two，先让步，承认会提升效率（At first, businesses would benefit from the efficiency of robots），再反驳（but eventually…）。值得注意的是反驳部分的逻辑依然是由个人（a population that struggles）到社会（society will suffer），这一思路第一篇Sample Essay 6也采用过，但更加精彩。本段略逊一筹还表现在“society will suffer”没有深入展开，只是简单粗暴地下了个结论。Our careless use of automation has already taken a toll on our culture. People have been interacting with automat