内心喧哗.docxVIP

To all appearances, Eleanor Longden was just like every other student, heading to college full of promise and without a care in the world. That was until the voices in her head started talking. Initially innocuous, these internal narrators became increasingly antagonistic and dictatorial, turning her life into a living nightmare. Diagnosed with schizophrenia, hospitalized, drugged, Longden was discarded by a system that didnt know how to help her. Longden tells the moving tale of her years-long journey back to mental health, and makes the case that it was through learning to listen to her voices that she was able to survive.The Voices In My Head00:11 我第一次离家到大学念书的那天 感觉棒呆了! 日子充满希望 我学业表现不错，大家对我期望颇高 我也满怀期待地投入大学生活 上课、参加派对,喝醉了偷交通路标. 00:11 The day I left home for the first time to go to university was a bright day brimming with hope and optimism. Id done well at school. Expectations for me were high, and I gleefully entered the student life of lectures, parties and traffic cone theft. 00:27 当然,事情不能只看表面 就某种程度而言，上课和偷交通路标 这些活跃又不服输的印象只是伪装 但掩饰得很好，足以瞒过任何人 只是我内心其实不快乐而且不安 骨子里很害怕…… 怕其他人、未来，怕失败 还有内心的空虚感 但我隐藏得很好! 外表看来就像是对一切都充满期待 与抱负 甚么都不怕的想法是如此彻底 连我自己都信以为真 所以念完一学期；而新学期开始的时候 根本没人能预料 将要发生的事 00:27 Now appearances, of course, can be deceptive, and to an extent, this feisty, energetic persona of lecture-going and traffic cone stealing was a veneer, albeit a very well-crafted and convincing one. Underneath, I was actually deeply unhappy, insecure and fundamentally frightened -- frightened of other people, of the future, of failure and of the emptiness that I felt was within me. But I was skilled at hiding it, and from the outside appeared to be someone with everything to hope for and aspire to. This fantasy of invulnerability was so complete that I even deceived myself, and as the first semester ended and the second began, there was no way that anyone could have predicted what was just about to happen.01:09 当时已开始上课而我正要逃学 我边哼歌边收拾东西 动作一如往常熟练 这时传来一个冷眼旁观的声音 「她要走了」 01:09 I was leaving a seminar