英语幽默集锦.docVIP

英语幽默集锦 1、Never Let it Go Out 概不外借 Mark Twain once went to borrow a certain book from a neighbour in Tarry town. May I borrow a book from you? he asked politely. Yes,youre more than welcome to it, the neighbour told him. But I must ask you to read it here. You know I make a rule never to let any book go out of my library. Some days later the neighbour wished to borrow Twains machine for cutting grass in the garden. Why,certainly, Twain told him,Youre more than welcome to it. But I must ask you to use it here. You know that I make it a rule never to let it go out of my garden. 2、我忘了那人是谁 　　　A society youth writes ironically to the young lady in the case：“Dear Miss Smith， perhaps you remember I proposed to you last night， and I do not now recall whether you said yes，or no.” 　　“Dear George， I remember I said‘no’ to someone last night， but I had forgotten who it was.” 　　我忘了那人是谁 　　一个社交界的青年给一位年轻女士挖苦地写道：“亲爱的史密斯小姐，您也许记得我昨晚向您求婚，但我现在记不起您到底是答应了还是没答应。” 　　“亲爱的乔治，我记得昨晚是对一个人说了‘不’，但忘了那人是谁。” 3、汪汪叫的妻子 　　A man who had been married for ten years was consulting a marriage counselor. 　　“When I was first married，I was very happy. Id come home from a hard day down at the shop，and my little dog would race around barking，and my wife would bring me my slippers.Now everythings changed.When I come home，my dog brings me my slippers，and my wife barks at me.” 　　“I dont know what youre complaining about，”said the counselor.“Youre still getting the same service.” 　　汪汪叫的妻子 　　一个结婚十年的男人正在请教一位婚姻顾问。 　　“刚结婚那会儿，我非常幸福。我在店里劳累一天回到家，我的小狗会绕着我跑，汪汪叫，而我的妻子给我拿来拖鞋。现在一切都变了。我回到家里，我的狗给我拿来拖鞋，我的妻子对着我汪汪叫。” 　　“我不知道你在抱怨什么，”婚姻顾问说。“你得到的服务还是一样的呀 4、好孩子 Little Robert asked his mother for tow cents.”What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?” “I gave it to a poor old woman,”he answered. “You’er a good boy,”said the mother proudly.”Here are tow cents more.But why are you so interested in the old woman?” “She is the one who sells the candy.” 小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱。 “昨天给你的钱干什么了？” “我给了一个可怜的老太婆。”他回答说。“你真是一个好