中年人的寂寞.docVIP

中年人的寂寞 夏丐尊 Mid-life Loneliness Xia Mianzun 我已是一个中年的人。一到中年，就有许多不愉快的现象，眼睛昏花了，记忆力减退了，头发开始秃脱而且变白了，意兴，体力，什么都不如年青的时候，常不禁会感觉到难以名言的寂寞的情味。尤其觉得难堪的是知友的逐渐减少和疏远，缺乏交际上的温暖的慰藉。 I am already a middle-aged man. At middle age, I feel sad to find my eyesight and memory failing, my hair thinning and graying, and myself no longer mentally and physically as fit as when I was young. I often suffer from a nameless loneliness. Most intolerable of all is the lack of friendly warmth and comfort due to the gradual passing away and estrangement of more and more old pals. 不消说，相识的人数是随了年龄增加的，一个人年龄越大，走过的地方当过的职务越多，相识的人理该越增加了。可是相识的人并不就是朋友。我们和许多人相识，或是因了事务关系，或是因了偶然的机缘——如在别人请客的时候同席吃过饭之类。见面时点头或握手，有事时走访或通信，口头上彼此也“朋友”，笔头上有时或称“仁兄”，诸如此类，其实只是一种社交上的客套，和“顿首”“百拜”同是仪式的虚伪。这种交际可以说是社交，和真正的友谊相差似乎很远。 Needless to say, the number of acquaintances increases with one’s age. The older one gets, the more widely traveled one is and the more work experience one has, the more acquaintances one is supposed to have. But not all acquaintances are friends. We come to know many people either in the way of business or by mere chance –say, having been at the same table at a dinner party. We may be on nodding or hand-shaking terms, call each other “friend”, sometimes write to each other with the salutation of “Dear So-and-So”, etc. All these are, in fact, nothing but civilities of social life, as hypocritical as the polite formula dunshou (kowtow) or baibai (a hundred greetings) used after the signature in old-fashioned Chinese letter-writing. We (加，被动）may call them social intercourse, but they seem to have very little in common with genuine friendship. 真正的朋友，恐怕要算“总角之交”或“竹马之交”了。在小学和中学的时代容易结成真实的友谊，那时彼此尚不感到生活的压迫，入世未深，打算计较的念头也少，朋友的结成全由于志趣相近或性情适合，差不多可以说是“无所为”的，性质比较纯粹。二十岁以后结成的友谊，大概已不免搀有各种各样的颜色分子在内；至于三十岁四十岁以后的朋友中间，颜色分子愈多，友谊的真实成分也就不免因而愈少了。这并不一定是“人心不古”，实可以说是人生的悲剧。人到了成年以后，彼此都有生活的重担须负，入世既深，顾忌的方面也自然加多起来，在交际上不许你不计较，不许你不打算，结果彼此都“勾心斗角”，像七巧板似地只选定了某一方面和对方接合。这样的接合当然是很不坚固的，尤其是现代这样什么都到了尖锐化的时代。 Real friendship between two persons originates perhaps from t