TED演讲稿-20岁光阴不再.docxVIP

26-year-old woman named Alex. 记得见我第一位心理咨询顾客时，我才 20 多岁。当时我是 Berkeley 临床心理学在读博士生。 我的第一位顾客是名叫 Alex 的女性， 26 岁。 Now Alex walked into her first session wearing jeans and a big slouchy top, and she dropped onto the couch in my office and kicked off her flats and told me she was there to talk about guy problems. Now when I heard this, I was so relieve d. My classmate got an arsonist for her first client. (Laughter) And I got a twentysomething who wanted to talk about boys. This I thought I could handle. 第一次见面 Alex 穿着牛仔裤和宽松上衣走进来，她一下子栽进我办公室的沙发上，踢掉脚上的平底鞋，跟我说她想谈谈男生的问题。当时我听到这个之后松了一口气。因为我同学的第 一个顾客是纵火犯，而我的顾客却是一个 20 出头想谈谈男生的女孩。我觉得我可以搞定。 But I didnt handle it. With the funny stories that Alex would bring to session, it was easy for me just to nod my head w hile we kicked the can down the road. 但是我没有搞定。 Alex 不断地讲有趣的事情，而我只能简单地点头认同她所说的，很自然地 就陷入了附和的状态。 Thirtys the new 20, Alex would say, and as far as I could tell, she was right. Work happened later, marriage happened lat er, kids happened later,even death happened later. Twentysomet hings like Alex and I had nothing but time. Alex 说：“ 30 岁是一个新的 20 岁”。没错，我告诉她“你是对的”。工作还早，结婚还早， 生孩子还早， 甚至死亡也早着呢。 像 Alex 和我这样 20 多岁的人， 什么都没有但时间多的是。 But before long, my supervisor pushed me to push Al ex about her love life. I pushed back. I said, Su re, shes dating down, shes sleeping witha knucklehe ad, but its not like shes going to marry the guy . And then my supervisor said, Not yet, but she might ma rry the next one. Besides, the best time to work on Alexs marriage i s before she has one. 但不久之后，我的导师就要我向 Alex 的感情生活施压。我反驳说：“当然她现在正在和别人 交往，她现在和一个傻瓜男生睡觉，但看样子她不会和他结婚的。” 而我的导师说：“不 着急，她也许会和下一个结婚。但修复 Alex 婚姻的最好时期是她还没拥有婚姻的时期。” Thats what psychologists call an Aha! moment. That was the moment I  realized,  30 is  not  the  new  20.  Yes,  peop le  settle  down  later  than they used to,  but that  didn  ’t make Alex ’s 20s a developmental downtime. 这就是心理学家说的“顿悟时刻”。 正是那个时候我意识到，和以前的人相比，现在人们更晚才安定下来，但是这不代表  30 岁不是一个新的 Alex 就能长期处于