最新英语趣味阅读.docxVIP

精品文档 精品文档 随意编辑 随意编辑 Jim and Mary were both patients in a Mental Hospital. One day while they were walking by the hospital swimming pool, Jim suddenly jumped into the deep end. He sank to the bottom. Mary promptly jumped in to save him. She swam to the bottom and pulled Jim out. When the medical director became aware of Marys heroic act he immediately reviewed her file and called her into his office. Mary, I have good news and bad news. The good news is youre being discharged because since you were able to jump in and save the life of another patient, I think youve regained your senses. The bad news is Jim, the patient you saved, hung himself with his bathrobe belt in the bathroom,hes dead. Mary replied, He didnt hang himself, I hung him up to dry. Jim 和 Mary 都是精神病院里的病人。 一天 ,他们沿着医院的游泳池散步 ,Jim 突 然跳入泳池的深水区 ,他沉到了底部。 Mary 立刻跳下去救他 ,她潜到水底 ,把 Jim 拉了上来。 当院长听闻了 Mary 的英勇行为后 ,他 立刻翻看了她的病历档案 ,把她叫进了自 己的办公室 , “ Mary, 我有一个好消息和 一个坏消息要告诉你。 好消息是你能跳入 水中救其他病人 ,这说明你的意识已经恢 复了 ,你可以出院了。坏消息就是 ,Jim, 你 救的那个病人 ,他还是用自己的浴袍带子 在浴室上吊自杀了。” Mary 说 : “他没有自杀,是我把他吊起 来好让他晾干。” FiveHundredTimes 五百遍 In the traffic court of a large mid-western city, a young lady was brought before the judge to answer a ticket given her for driving through a red light. She explained to his honor that she was a school teacher and requested an immediate disposal of her case in order that she might hasten on to her classes. A wild gleam came into the judges eye. You are a school teacher, eh? said he. Madam, I shall realize my lifelong ambition. Sit down at that table and write I went through a red light five hundred times. 在中西部一个大城市的交通法庭里 ,一 位年轻女士被带到法官面前 ,她由于开车 闯红灯被开了罚单。女士向法官解释 ,她 是一名学校老师 ,请求法官马上处理她的 案子 ,以便可以赶回去上课。法官眼中闪 过一丝狡黠 ,说道 : “你是学校的老师,对 吗?女士 ,我马上要实现我毕生的愿望了。 在那张桌子旁坐下 ,写‘我开车闯了红 灯 500遍。” Yourhorsecalled 马打电话 A guy is reading his paper when his wife walks up behind him and smacks him on the back of the head with a frying pan. He asks, What was that for? She says, I found a piece of paper in your pocket with Betty Sue written on