著名脱口秀主持人艾伦·德詹尼丝杜兰大学毕业英语演讲稿.docxVIP

著名脱口秀主持人艾伦·德詹尼丝杜兰大学毕业英语演讲稿 Thank you, President Cowan, Mrs. President Cowen; distinguished guests, undistinguishedguests - you know who you are, honored faculty and creepy Spanish teacher. 谢谢，谢谢考恩校长，和有头有脸的来宾们，呃，有头有脸的来宾，你知道你是谁，不用介绍了(众人笑)，诚心感谢大家……以及讨厌的西班牙语老师(众人大笑) And thank you to all the graduating class of 2021, I realize most of you are hungover and havesplitting headaches and havent slept since Fat Tuesday, but you cant graduate til I finish, solisten up. 感谢所有2021届的毕业生，我知道你们绝大多数人还因为宿醉头痛欲裂，狂欢到今天都还没睡，但是没听完我的演讲不能毕业，所以都听好了!(学生们欢呼) When I was asked to make the commencement speech, I immediately said yes. Then I wentto look up what commencement meant. Which would have been easy if I had a dictionary, butmost of the books in our house are Portias, and theyre all written in Australian. So I had tobreak the word down myself, to find out the meaning. 当我被问是否来参加毕业典礼演讲的时候，我立刻就回答了：yes!……然后我才去查“毕业典礼”是什么意思(众人笑)。如果我有字典的话就轻松多了，但我家的书大多是portia的(ellen的妻子，澳大利亚人)而且都是澳洲文(众人笑)，所以……我得自己摸索，去找出这个词的意思。 Commencement: common, and cement. Common cement. You commonly see cement onsidewalks. Sidewalks have cracks, and if you step on a crack, you break your mothers back. Sotheres that. But Im honored that youve asked me here to speak at your common cement. “commencement毕业典礼”：commen常见的+cement水泥，常见的水泥(众人大笑)你常常见到水泥，在人行道上，人行道有裂缝，你要是踩到裂缝，就会撞伤你妈妈的背(大家笑)，所以大概意思就是这样了(笑声) I thought that you had to be a famous alumnus - alumini - aluminum - alumis - you had tograduate from this school. And I didnt go to college here, and I dont know if President Cowanknows, I didnt go to any college at all. Any college. And Im not saying you wasted your time,or money, but look at me, Im a huge celebrity. 但我很荣幸被邀请来做你们的“常见的水泥”的演讲。我以为非得是又有名，又是你们学校的校友才能来……我没有在这里念过大学，我不知校长先生是否知道，我完全没上过大学…任何一间大学!我倒不是在说你们在浪费时间和金钱，不过看看我，我是个超级成功的大名人唉!(大家爆笑) Although I did graduate from the school of hard knocks, our mascot was the knockers. I spent alot of time here growing up. My mom worked at (? 估计是某家商店的名