各种英语冷笑话大全.docxVIP

英语冷笑话大全 Improvement One student to another: How are your English lessons coming along? Fine. I used to be one who couldnt understand the English men, and now its the English men who cant understand me. 进步 一位学生对另一位说：“你的 英语 最近学的怎么样?” “很好，我过去不懂英国人说话，可现在是英国人不懂我的话了。” Half or Five Tenths? Teacher: Would you rather have one half of an orange or five tenths? Gerald: Id much rather have the half. Teacher: Think carefully, and tell me why. Gerald: Because you lose too much juice when you cut the orange into five tenths. 半个还是十分之五 老师：你愿意要半个柑橘，还是十分之五个柑橘? 杰拉得：我宁可要半个。 老师：仔细想想，说出理由来。 杰拉得：因为你如果把柑橘切成十分之五，那柑橘汁就损失太多了。 To Go to Heaven Sunday School teacher: Hands up all those who want to go to Heaven? Hands up ..... what about you, Terry? You havent got your hand up -- dont you want to go to Heaven? Terry: I cant. My Mum told me to go straight home. 去天堂 主日学校的教员：想去天堂的人举起手来，把手举起来。。。你呢，哈 里?你还没举手呢-- 你不想去天堂吗? 哈里： 我去不了，因为妈妈让我一放学就回家。 How Many Rabbits? Teacher: Now, Jonathan, if I gave you three rabbits and then the next day I gave you five rabbits, how many rabbits would you have? Jonathan: Nine, sir. Teacher: Nine? Jonathan: Ive got one already, sir. 多少只兔子? 老师：好，乔纳森，假如我给你三只兔子，第二天我又给你五只，你 一共有多少只兔子? 乔纳森：一共有九只，先生。老师：九只? 乔纳森：先生，我本来就有一只。 Essay Teacher had set his class an essay in A Game of Cricket. After two minutes Simon Steel handed his paper in and was allowed to go home. His essay read: Rain stopped play. 作文 老师给学生出了个作文题：“一场板球赛”。两分钟后，西蒙。斯蒂尔交了作文，老师允许他回家了。他在作文上写道：“下雨，比赛终止。” Who Discovered Australia? Teacher: Find Australia on the map for me, Johnny. Johnny: Its there, sir. Teacher: Thats right. Now Sammy, who discovered Australia? Sammy: Johnny, sir. 谁发现了澳大利亚? 老师：约翰尼，在地图上给我找出澳大利亚在什么地方。 约翰尼：先生，在这儿。 老师：对了。萨默，你来回答我是谁发现了澳大利亚? 萨默：先生，是约翰尼。 Lightning Teacher: Why is it said that lightning never strikes the same place twice? Roy: Because after its struck once the same place isnt there any more! 闪电 老师：为什么说闪电从来不会两次击中同一个地方? 罗伊：因为它击中一个地方一次以后，那个地方就不存在了。 The Climate of New Zealand Teacher: Matthew, what is t