英语经典幽默故事集.docxVIP

经典幽默故事二New DiscoveryA hillbilly was visiting the big city for the first time. Entering an office building, he saw a pudgy older woman step into a small room. The doors closed, lights flashed, and after a while the door slid open and a beautiful young model stepped off the elevator.Blinking in amazement, the hillbilly drawled, “I should have brought my wife!”新发现一个乡下人第一次到大城市游逛。他走进一座大楼，看见一个岁数很大的矮胖女人迈进一个小房间。房间的门随后关上，有几个灯在闪亮。一会儿，门开了，电梯里走出一位年青漂亮的女模特。乡下人惊奇地眨着眼睛，慢吞吞地说：“我应该把我的老婆带来！”Imitate BirdsA man tried to get a job in a stage show. “What van you do?” asked the producer.“Imitate birds,” the man said.“Are you kidding?” answered the producer, “People like that are a dime a dozen.”“Well, I guess that’s that.” said the actor, as he spread his arms and flew out the window.模仿鸟儿一个人想在一个舞台剧中找份工作。“你能干什么呢？”负责人问。“模仿鸟儿，”那人说。“你在开玩笑吧？”负责人答道，“那样的人一毛钱可以找一打。”“噢，那就算了。”那名演员说着，展开双臂，飞出了窗口。One Side of the CaseA judge asked our group of potential jurors whether anyone should be excused, and one man raised his hand.“I can’t hear out of my left ear,” the man told the judge.“Can you hear out of your right eat?” the judge asked. The man nodded his head.“You’ll be allowed to serve on the jury,” the judge declared. “We only listen to one side of the case at a time.”一面之辞一位法官问我们这群替补陪审员是否有人应当免权。一个人举起了手。 “我的左耳听不见。”那人告诉法官。 “你的右边耳朵听得见吗？”法官问道。那人点了点头。 “你将被允许加入陪审团，”法官宣布。“我们每次只听一面之辞。” Early ShopperIt was Christmas and the judge was in a benevolent mood as he questioned the prisoner. What are you charged with? he asked. Doing my christmas shopping early, replied the defendant. Thats no offense, replied the judge, How early were you doing this shopping? Before the store opened, countered the prisoner. 采购过早那天是圣诞节，法官在审讯犯人时也有点恻隐之心。“你为什么而被起诉？”他问。 “采购圣诞节物品过早。”被告答。 “这不算犯法，”法官回答，“你购物多早？” “在商店开门之前，”犯人应道。 索创在线英语 /