王西.docVIP

Annual Radio and Television Correspondents Dinner Good evening, everyone. My name is Joe Wong. But to most people, I am known as Who? [Laughter] Hu is actually my mothers maiden name, [Laughter] and the answer to my credit card security question. [Laughter] 各位晚上好，我是Joe Wong（黄西）。但是对很多人来说，听到我的名字，会问“谁”?（看他的滑稽表情，观众笑），Who（同音“Hu”）恰恰是我妈的娘家姓（观众笑），也是我信用卡安全问题的答案。（和很多网站注册一样，美国的信用卡也会设置安全问题，比如“你妈妈姓什么”，“你家小狗叫什么”） But joking aside, I just want to reassure everybody that I am invited here tonight. [Laughter] 但是玩笑归玩笑，我想让大家放心我今晚的确是受到邀请来的。（观众笑，这里是隐指Salah夫妇闯入白宫欢迎晚宴的新闻，大家可以搜索Michaele and Tareq Salahi） I grew up in China. Who wouldnt? [Laughter] 我在中国长大。谁不是呢？（观众笑，这是用自己的自大讽刺美国人的自大） As my childhood memories are totally ruined by my childhood. [Laughter] When I was in elementary school, as part of the curriculum, I have to worked at a rice paddy, right next to a quarry where they use explosives to break rocks. And that is where I learned that light travels faster than sound, [Laughter] which is almost as slow as a flying rock. [Laughter] 而我童年的所有记忆都被我的童年给毁了。（观众笑，思路怪异）读小学的时候，作为课程的一部分，我要去稻田里劳动，稻田的旁边是一个采石场，他们用炸药炸石头。也就是在那里，我知道了光的传播速度要比声音快（观众笑），而声音的速度就和石头飞的速度差不多慢。（观众笑） My dad was a grumpy guy, but occasionally he would tried to cheer me up with jokes. But he doesnt do it right. When I was seven, one day he said to me, Hi, son, why is tofu better than centralized socialist economy? [Laughter] So, five minutes later, I said, Why? [Laughter] He said, Because I said so! [Laughter] 我爸爸是个脾气很怪的人，但偶尔他也想用笑话来逗我玩儿。可是他又做不好。我七岁的时候，有一天他问我，“嘿，儿子，你说为什么豆腐比社会主义计划经济要好？”（观众笑，风马牛不相及）我想了五分钟，然后问他“为什么呢？”（观众笑），他说“因为我说好就是好！”（观众笑，笑点在于：豆腐，计划经济以及极端的父权。豆腐和经济放在一起本来就没有可比性，就好像这种“我说了算”的父权也根本不可理喻，让人又好气又好笑） I came to the United States when I was 24, to study at Rice University in Texas. [Applause] That wasnt a joke, [Laughter] until now. [Laughter] 我24岁的时候来到美国，在Texas的Rice University求学。（观众鼓掌。）这不是个笑话（观众笑），不过现在是了。（观众笑） And I was driving that a used car with a lot of bumper stickers t