放下怨恨，乐享人生.docVIP

放下怨恨，乐享人生 　　You hear people say this all the time： “I have a right to be upset because of the way I’ve been treated. I have a right to be angry， hurt， depressed， sad， and 1）resentful.” Learning to avoid this kind of thinking is one of my secrets for living a life of inner peace， success， and happiness. Anytime you’re filled with resentment， you’re turning the controls of your emotional life over to others to 2）manipulate. 　　I became aware of how powerful this lesson was many years ago while sitting in on a meeting of 12 people who were in a recovery group for alcoholism and drug addiction. All 12 of those people were accustomed to blaming others for their weaknesses， using almost any excuse as a rationale for returning to their self-defeating ways. On a poster hanging in the room were these words： “In this group， there are no justified resentments.” 　　Regardless of what anyone would say to another group member， no matter how confrontational or ugly the accusations， each person was reminded that there are no justified resentments. You may need to consider whom you resent before you make your own choice about whether this is useful for you. Resentments give you an excuse to return to your old ways. This is what got you there in the first place！ 　　Removing resentment and blame from your life means never assigning responsibility to anyone for what you’re experiencing. It means that you’re willing to say， “I may not understand why I feel this way， why I have this illness， why I’ve been victimized， or why I had this accident， but I’m willing to say without any guilt or resentment that I own it. I live with， and I am responsible for， having it in my life.” Why do this？ If you take responsibility for having it， then at least you have a chance to also take responsibility for removing it or learning from it. 　　If you’re in some small （perhaps unknown） way responsible for that 3）migraine headache or that depressed feeling， then you can go to work to remove it or disco