Fun Stuff等.doc

Fun Stuff等JOKES 开怀一笑 Talented Animals 酒吧奇遇记 A guy walks into a bar and orders a beer. “Listen,” he says to the bartender, “If I show you the most amazing thing you’ve ever seen, is my beer on the house?” “We’ll see,” says the bartender. So the guy pulls out a hamster and a tiny piano out of a bag, puts them on the bar, and the hamster begins to play. “Impressive,” says the bartender, “but I’ll need to see more.” “Hold on,” says the man. He then pulls out a frog, and it sings a song. Another man jumps up from his table and shouts, “That’s absolutely incredible! I’ll give you $100 right now for the frog.” “Sold,” says the guy. The man takes the frog and leaves. “It’s none of my business,” says the bartender, “but you just gave away a fortune.” “Not really,” says the guy. “The hamster is also a ventriloquist” Car Crash 撞车之后 Mike and Frank were driving down a street, in different directions. Out of some unfortunate mishap, the cars slammed into each other, head-on. The two men were able to get out of their cars without any serious injury, but the cars were wrecked. Before Frank could say anything, Mike said, “Instead of fighting over whose fault it was, why don’t we just celebrate that we were able to come out alive？” Frank said, “Yeah, good idea!” “I have a bottle of wine in the car, why don’t I get that out and we can have a toast？” suggested Mike. Luckily the bottle had not been damaged in the accident. He gave it to Frank and said, “Here, drink some!” Frank took the bottle and drank half of it. Then he wiped his mouth and handed the bottle over to Mike. “Here, you have some!” Mike passed it back and said, “No, I think I’ll wait until the police get here.” QUOTES 名人妙语 Garry Shandling(1970s American comedian): I sold my house this week. I got a pretty good price for it, but it made my landlord mad as hell. Jimmy Carter(former US President): I’ve often wanted to drown my troubles, but I can’t get my wi