week 13 时文阅读.docVIP

How Women Define Success Apr 16, 2013 4:45 am - by Peggy Drexler Personal growth vs. career goals. Women say one is more important—and it’s not the one you think. Gloria spent what seemed like her entire life dreaming of becoming a lawyer. As a child, she’d make her sisters “play law office,” holding pretend meetings, filling out pretend paperwork, and lining up her stuffed animals to serve as judge and jury. For her birthday one year, her father gave her light pink business cards that read “Attorney-in-Training,” which she’d eagerly hand out to everyone she met. After law school, she went to work for a big-time New York criminal firm, and following a few huge wins established herself as one of the country’s top criminal attorneys under 35—male or female. The partners at her firm rewarded her hard work and talent with promotions, raises, and placement on the most interesting cases. She described her work to me as incredibly fulfilling. When she and her husband, Martin, decided to have children, Gloria never questioned whether she’d go back to work after the yearlong sabbatical she knew she was lucky to have been granted. Ten years later, Gloria was indeed back to work and as busy as ever—but struggling in a way she hadn’t expected. “I love being a mom,” she told me. “But work is work, and the problem is that I don’t actually miss my son when I’m there. Is that wrong? It feels wrong.” Ten-year-old James is smart and talented—an accomplished pianist, already—and kind to others. Gloria speaks of him with great pride. “But for me, there is just absolutely nothing like the feeling of putting in the hours, being part of a team, and, ultimately, hearing someone read aloud a judgment in your favor,” she said. “I know it probably sounds heartless, or at least un-motherly, and I would never give up my son for anything in the world, but I can picture myself not being a mom. I can’t picture myself not being a lawyer.” Getting her own paycheck—and a sizable one at that—made her