15 情感描写——害怕.pptVIP

第一段首句后的衔接句：第一段尾句(须与第二段首句衔接)：第二段首句后的衔接句：2.写好三个衔接句Hisforeheaddampwithsweat,Davidrushedintothehouse.Hejumpedtohisfeetandrantomakeaphonecalltohismother.Itwashismother.3.写好一个升华句即第二段的尾句(即文尾句)。能体现故事圆满结局的句子或故事给我们的启示的句子：Hehuggedhismothertightlyagain,makingapromisethathewouldbecomebraveandsparenoefforttomaintainindependence.第三步，增加细节，展开续写基于第一段的框架，我们可以补充以下细节：David的动作描写(______________________________________________)→David的心理和动作描写(____________________________)→David的心理描写(_______________)→David的动作描写(_______________)满头大汗地冲进屋内，平复感到害怕，David大声呼唤妈妈心情，开灯后发现空无一人恐惧加剧冲过去打电话基于第二段的框架，我们可以补充以下细节：David的动作描写(_____________________)→妈妈的语言描写(_____________________)→David的心理描写(_________________)→David的动作描写(_________________________________)颤抖着打开门并拥抱妈妈一扫之前的恐惧感解释未接David的原因紧紧抱住妈妈，承诺会变得勇敢和独立Paragraph1：Davidstoodinfrontofthedoorandopenedithurriedly.Hisforeheaddampwithsweat,Davidrushedintothehouse.Inthedarkness,hetriedtopullhimselftogetherandthenturnedonthelights.Whathecouldseewasnothingbutanemptyscaryroom.Fearfloodedhim.Hecalledhismotheratthetopofhislungs,buttherewasnoresponse.Theuneasyfeelingsharpenedintopanic.Hejumpedtohisfeetandrantomakeaphonecalltohismother.第四步，检查优化，整洁誊写Paragraph2：Suddenly,therewasaknockonthedoorandcameafamiliarvoice.Itwashismother.Heshiveredwithfright,openedthedoorwithhistremblinghand,andhuggedhertightlyinrelief.Hismotherexplainedthatshehadbeenfollowinghimalltheway,addingthathisrushinghomefilledherwithhorror.Buttomakehimindependentofher,itwasworthtrying.WhatshesaidlightedupthewholeworldandDavid’sfeelingofscarefadedaway.Hehuggedhismothertightlyagain,makingapromisethathewouldbecomebraveandsparenoefforttomaintainindependence.[范文亮点]以上续写的两个段落续写内容与每段的首句能很好地衔接起来，情节设计合理，逻辑性强，可读性强，与所给短文融合度高。第一段中的设计主要是发