[古装搞笑剧] 孔雀东南飞 英语爆笑短剧.pdfVIP

英语搞笑短剧剧本《孔雀东南飞》

johnnyjforshort

焦仲卿()

刘兰芝lunch(lforshort)

焦母johnny’smother(jmforshort)

lunchsmotherlmforshort

刘母’()

mayorssonmsforshort

太守之子’()

burglarsabandc

强盗()

prologue序幕

(作被打状跑上台,内砸出一卷纸筒,被打中,狼狈不堪)jj

j:everybodysaysthati’mhenpecked,butinfact,i’mastrongtiger,(小

声)whilemywifeiswusong.

译：人人都说我怕老婆，实际上我是老虎，（小声）我妻子是武松。

(指着上台处的门大声道)i’mnotafraidofyou!

译：我才不怕你呢！

(内砸出一脸盆,j接住当成盾牌护着头)then,i’mafraidofwhom!mywife

lunchiisthemostfamouswomanintheneighborhood.sheisbraverthanme,

smarterthanmeandstrongerthanme.allthisidonotcare.ionlywanthertobe

tendererthanme.butsheisnot!havingawifelikethisisjustlikelivinginthehell!

译：谁怕谁啊！在邻里中，我妻子是最有名气的。她比我勇敢、比我聪明、比

我强壮。我也不在乎这些。我只觉得她该对我温柔些，但是她却不懂温柔！有这样

的太太就像活在地狱中啊！

(内又砸出一卷纸筒,击中j)

mygod!whocanhelpme?(下)

译：我的天！谁来救救我啊？

act1第一幕

jm

(序幕结束时,作窃听状)

jm(拄拐棍上):ican!

(对门内)lunch!lunch!whereareyou?

l(扎着围裙,拿着锅铲,从门内跳出来):i’mhere!what’sup，mum?

jm:ihavetoldyouagainandagainthatyoushouldcallme“mymost

beautifulgracefulanddearestmother-in-law”.

l:ok.mymostbeautifulgracefulanddearestmother-in-law,what’sup?

jm:sinceyoumarriedmysonyouhavebehavedsobadly.youhavebeenso

rude,sobrusque,solazy……

l:but……

jm:neverinterruptme!

l:neverinterruptme!sinceimarriedyourson,thatterriblejohnny,ihavebeen

workinghardalldaylong,cookingandwashing.ihaveraisedtensofthousands

ofpigsandducksandchickenand……

jm:butallthoseyouhavedonearenotasvaluableasagrandson!

l(生气地挥动着锅铲):oh,youwantagrandson,don’tyou?(开始解围裙)go

andaskyourson.i’mleaving!(扯下围裙,扔在jm的脸上,下)

act2

lml

(坐在台上打毛线,拿着锅铲上)

l:mum,imback!