马克吐温的幽默故事与名言（Mark Twains humorous stories and quotes）.doc

马克吐温的幽默故事与名言（Mark Twains humorous stories and quotes） Mark Twains humorous stories and quotes Mark Twains humorous story A chance chance, mark? Twain and the orator johnsy? M? He was invited to the same dinner. The speech begins, johnsy? M? He talked for 20 minutes and won a big round of applause. And then mark? Twains speech. Mark? Twain stand up and face has be reluctant to say: you, Im very sorry, the meeting jossie? M? About puma Mr I swap speeches, so you just hear my speech, thank you sincerely, I seriously listen to and enthusiastic support. However, somehow, I cant find jossie? M? Mr Tigers notes, so I cant speak for him. Please you to forgive me to sit down. French celebrity bogei, who makes fun of americans short history, says: when americans are fine, they tend to miss their ancestors, but when they think of their grandfather, they have to stop. Mark? Twain replied: when the French are fine, they always want to know who their father is, but its hard to know. When mark? When twain was a little-known writer, he was introduced to general grant. After the two shook hands, mark? Twain could not think of anything to say, and grant kept his usual reticence. And finally mark? Twain stammered, Im embarrassed, general, and you? Mark? Twain was out on a bus. When the conductor checked his ticket, he rummaged every pocket and didnt find his ticket. The train attendant knew him, so he consoled mark. Its okay, twain said. if you cant find a ticket, it wont matter. Why, I must find the damn ticket, if not, how can I know where I am going? Mark? Twain often spoke of a sad memory of his childhood. Its said that mark? Twain was born with twins, and he and his twin brother were identical, and their mother could not tell. One day, while the nurse was bathing for them, one of them accidentally fell into a bathtub and drowned. No one knew which of the twins was drowned. The saddest thing is right here. Mark? Everyone thought I was the one who survived, but I wasnt. It was my b