CET46缺陷作文分析.docVIP

CET-4/6缺陷作文分析 Portable Computers Owned by College Students 1． 越来越多大学生拥有便携式电脑； 2． 这种趋势的利与弊； 3． 我的看法。 【缺陷作品“赏析”】 下面这篇文章从宏观脉络到微观的表达错的一塌糊涂！！！ No one can deny that many schoolboy or schoolgirl owned computer in university. It’s very common seeing a sophomore surfing the Internet at school-room. It’s not surprise when glancing at a schoolgirl chat on the bed. To make thing better, the graduated hand in assignment by E-mail. “There has no garden without weeds.” there are two views about owning lap-computer. Some people think it is very useful and more convince. For distant students, the computer can help them to commucate with heir parents and friends so as to decrease homesick. Additionally, by net-notebook, the students also can searching the message of education. However, others suspect that the students will play games all day long. what’s more, the schoolgirls tide their garden at QQ, purchase cloth and face cream at www.taobao. com. As far as individuals are concerned, lap-computer is a basic personal equipment, By the Internet, we can get new information and enhance our horizon. Every coin has two sides, surfing the Internet may lead us to forget time, what’s more, we should turn off the rubbish window. 【修改建议】 以下是修改过的版本 No one can ignore the trend that an increasing number of students own portable computer. With this marvelous device, a school boy can surf the internet either in his dormitory or in the laboratory, and a school girl can chat online either before a desk or in her bed. Generally, the vast majority of us sing high praise of this great invention – notebooks. “Being portable is just the primary advantage.” they may be excited to say, “We can go on editing our term paper for hours even if there is a power failure.” However, some educators may warn us that the prevalence lap-tops may pose a threat on the self-esteem of financially disadvantaged students, for whom notebooks are merely an unaffordable dream. For my part, a computer is a necessary tool during