再见,我“野蛮”婆婆.docVIP

再见,我“野蛮”婆婆 　　As she lay there in the hospital bed, I stared at her 1)gaunt, 2)sunken face and willed her to open her eyes. Her 3)blistered mouth hung open allowing a 4)shallow moan to escape 5)every so often―she looked like a 6)shrunken version of herself. An old woman well beyond her 71 years. 　　In four months this is what she has become―this 7)feisty, daily exercising, overly 8)opinionated, strong willed, world traveling woman has been eaten from the inside out by cancer. Four months! It is a shock that’s difficult for me to 9)wrap my brain around. It makes me want to tell everyone I love that I love them. 　　I study her face and will her to open her eyes. What will I say if she does? In the 20 years I have known this woman, I have struggled to understand her, battled her opinions, endured her criticisms, and loved her son 10)beyond measure. I think of all the times I have wanted to make her disappear. All the times I thought about what I would feel when she was gone. Relief, joy, guilt, nothing? 　　I think of my children who saved me from truly hating her. Earlier that day, I watched my 12-year-old who has 11)autism, whom she loved fiercely, almost obsessively. He sat on the edge of her bed and studied her face searching for his beloved “Bubbe” and wondering if she’d ever return. Austin caught her awake and looked her right in the eye―not an easy task for him. A boy of few words he said without 12)prompt, “I love you Bubbe, I hope you get better.” His words pierced my heart for I know she is not getting better. 　　Would she hear my silent plea and open her eyes? She is so stubborn and never cares what others think―always doing whatever she wants regardless of what others think or feel. I know this is how she is and how she will be until she takes her last breath. Will she grant me this wish and let me see what I’ll do, how I’ll feel, what I’ll say? Not yet. She decides to leave me to my thoughts. 　　My mind 13)meanders through the past twenty years. I realize