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Bittersweet Memories Karen Odem
High school graduation — the bittersweet feelings are as much a part of me now as they were twenty-one years ago.
As graduation day approached, excitement increased. Being out of high school meant I was finally coming of age. Soon I would be on my own, making my own decisions, doing what I wanted without someone looking over my shoulder and it meant going to school with boys, a welcome change coming from an all-girl high school.
There was never any question in my mind that I would go to a college away from home. My mothers idea, on the other hand, was just the opposite. Trying her best not to force her preferences on me, she would subtly ask whether I had considered particular schools, all of which happened to be located in or near my hometown of Chicago. Once it was established that, as long as it was financially feasible, I would be going away anyway, my familys perspective changed. Their concern shifted from whether I was going away to how far. The schools I was considering on the East Coast suddenly looked much more attractive than those in California.
But which college I would attend was just one of what seemed like a never-ending list of unknowns: What would college be like? Would I be unbearably lonely not knowing anyone else who was going to the same school? Would the other students like me? Would I make friends easily? Would I miss my family so much that I wouldnt be able to stand it? And what about the work? Would I be able to keep up? (Being an A student in high school seemed to offer little assurance I would be able to survive college.) What if the college I selected turned out to be a horrible mistake? Would I be able to transfer to another school?
Then panic set in. My feelings took a 180-degree turn. I really didnt want to leave high school at all, and it was questionable whether I wanted to grow up after all. It had been nice being respected as a senior by the underclass students for the past year; I didnt enjoy the i
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